View Full Version : General Fishy Question

04-05-2002, 12:44 PM

Something I have thought about in the past, but fortunately don't have to worry about:  I always wondered what would happen if that special someone in your life turns out to not appreciate or (worse yet) actively dislike fish and fishkeeping???

I wondered how someone could survive that?

So the question is:

Does your significant other a) actively participate in your hobby, b) like the fact that you have a hobby but doen't want to take part, c) accept your hobby passively, d) get cranky when you spend (waste) time on your hobby, e) HATE FISH & FISHKEEPING WITH A PASSION.

And how do you handle it?


PS.  My wife is pretty much classified in the a group (PHEW!!!) - she likes the fish, thinks they are beautiful and wants to name them, and likes the idea of me having a hobby which keeps me home.  Though she was recently laid off from work  :(  she offered to clean the tank for me!!!

04-05-2002, 12:59 PM
Well John, for me....  my wife generally falls in the a-b category, sometimes into c-d , and never into the E Category.

In my humble opinion it is not fair to your fish  to have to put up with your loved one disliking them and possibly putting them down. It would be best  to do the right thing..... Divorce  ;D

Besides that I read an article the other day about some discus that went postal on their  owner because  they heard the owners spouse  call them  "stupid  fish"  .I kid you not.   By the  time the paramedics  got there it was too late, for the owners, but the medics did save the severely  bloated fish by using the proper dose  of epsom salt! :)

take care, al

04-05-2002, 01:18 PM
I am truely lucky with my girlfriend. Not only does she support me in my hobby, she is as bad a junkie as me. She shares in all the work, and pleasure of raising discus. If i want to buy some, i go for it. She never gets mad when i spend a whole weekend working on the fish room. She does water changes when she has time and i do them when i have time. Honestly if it was not for all the effort she puts into the fish, we would be way less successful.
If she ever changes from how she is now i guess i will have to trade her in for a new one. (F)
Im only kidding, her support and help is what keeps the fish room going great.

04-05-2002, 02:25 PM
I would have to say my wife falls inbetween a-b also. *We are both self employed and her home office ( where she spends a large part of her day) I put a 54 gallon built into the wall, directly in front of her desk.. She enjoys that alot. *I share the same office space as such, but I,m never here (except for rain or snow).. *She has always been the one encouraging discus to me... Well its finally going to happen.. *The only thing she does is feed them occasionally. /b/ #)!

04-05-2002, 04:21 PM
well.......my fish came after my "other half was disposed of. but he was not keen on any of my zoo!!!!!
and im sure the fish would've fallen in that category. so its just me my two teenagers who are almost ready to be pushed out of the nest.....and the fish. but.....they have decided I love my fish more....and their second. on the other hand.....think my fish have become my passion as the kids are off with their friends and i'm left home alone! Now they tell me stay home and play with your fish!
and......they do hold the "well you got fish " over my head.  The only fish they say they like are the ones they think i may get rid of cause they are  small or somethin......then they quickly name them and call them theirs so I cant!!!!! we have a one inch discus who has been that size since November. he is now named stripey and my daughter says he's hers! he looks like one of those aquababy fish that go in those cubes! a nice leopard snake !

04-05-2002, 07:46 PM
My husband is definately a "B".  He likes the fish and will talk about them for maybe five minutes if I'm lucky. . . . . Then I have to get on the computer and talk to all my discus friends if I want anymore fish conversations.  I do all the water changes and feeding.  Wait, I take that back, he will feed If I'm away and have set out little pre-measured cups of fishfood on each tank.  (H)
Carol  *H*

04-05-2002, 08:08 PM
Well, I still live at home, and my parents have finally mellowed out to be a "C" type personality. When I was younger, they were "D" people, and at one point I was forbidden to bring another tank into my house, regardless of size, shape, or how cheap it was. When I was 15 I had well over 200 fish scattered between 2 tanks in our living room and as many tanks as I could squeeze into my bedroom. I ran out of space for them all and eventually lined them up on my floor, against the wall.

As for my significant other, well, they tolerate the hobby and act interested in it for my sake, but don't actually actively participate. They just look at pictures and listen to me talk about it, and smile. hehehehe.


04-05-2002, 09:58 PM
my wife falls into the B category - although at times (when the honey-do list is getting long) she will quickly go to the C-D category....i guess she's just glad that i have a hobby....

04-05-2002, 11:26 PM
My wife has to be a,b,c,d

LOL she gets short tempered with me when i spend time on the fish, accepts the fact that i spend time with the fish daily, Really loves the fish when she is at work and i'm at home taking care of the fish instead of being at the Bar drinking. but yet When we visted a Discus Hatchery she was actively excited about it


04-05-2002, 11:27 PM
okay try the pic agian
Okay i'm not messing with the picture then

04-06-2002, 04:47 AM
It's amazing how many of the a-b types there are out there!!!  I know there have to be some who live in endless conflict re their fish...  Don't be afraid to speak up!


04-06-2002, 06:34 AM
Thank God my wife helps with the fish ;D  I work shift and she cleans and feeds at night when I am working. She has informed me that she gets to pick the fish for the tank that just finished cycling.
She stated she didn't need any help...just money :D

Butch :)

04-06-2002, 06:54 AM
Hey everyone,

Well I guess I will be the black sheep, My wife falls into the d-range.  :( :( :( :( :( :( :( She does not show any intrest in this hobby of mine......matter of fact she doesn't even stay in the house when I start to do water changes......The up side is my kids love them and my 5yrold girl helps to feed and do water changes (she holds the hose in the bucket) :) :) :) :)..............The only thing my wife says about my  fish is she thinks there pretty in a clean tank...............                    Jason

04-06-2002, 07:17 AM

Condolences.  At least you have a little fishkeeper in training.  For YEARS I had no one to share my hobby with.  My mom and brother always thought I was an idiot to "waste" time and money on fish.

My friends never had any interest.

Now it's great.  I can talk fish most of the time and she's into it!!!



PS.  I do have to reciprocate by talking about her "stuff", but that's okay, because I like her stuff too...

04-06-2002, 12:21 PM
Hey Jason,

Are you talking about your wife or mine :o

It's just the sort of thing I would have to write to answer Johns question......the only thing is I don't have any youngsters any more to take that sort of interest (the youngest is in his 30's).

So I just end up having a conversation with the dog at water change time ;D ;D

Mike #)!

04-06-2002, 12:43 PM
Hey Mike

The dog is good......................Quiet company, and you can talk about fish all day......................been there, and still do it......... when no ones around,...of coarse..... ::) ::) ::)..........Jason

04-06-2002, 01:04 PM
I do it all the time Jason......even if someone else is there.  At least, he always agrees  %** %** %**

Sad innit ;D ;D

Mike #)!

04-06-2002, 06:25 PM
My wife is in the a-b category which is great.  My orange tabby cat is definely an a personality cat.  I am not sure that is good.  He may be thinking "hey dad why can't I do that water change for You, I promise not to torment those fish toooooo much!!!!"

04-08-2002, 06:41 AM

I would have to say that hubby is in category b-c.

At first he wasn't into them at all...after a while, when he would get up in the morning and the light was on...he started counting them. *(I think he was making sure the $$$$$ were still alive and kicking!) *That was when I only had the Watleys. *When I brought the first wilds home...he could not understand my excitement. *He said I was adding perch to the colorful grouping I already had...CAN YOU IMAGINE! *Now, he will actully sit in the living room and watch the wild tank....without turning on the TV! *

The only complaint I get is the babysitter I need whn we go on trips! *He doesn't really actively participate in their care, but doesn't complain about the constant water changes anymore either!

We'll see how this spring and summer go....we enjoy touring on the motorcycle and riding weather is coming up...we'll see how well he copes with lining up all the fixins' to leave the fish!

And, we'll see what happens when I tell him we have to break down a tank and move it out to be bleached!!!!!! (moan...groan...but he'll help!)


P. S. *He did help me set up my pump in/pump out hose!

04-08-2002, 07:36 AM
My girlfriend falls somewhere in the b-d range. She has even set up her own 10 gal with a couple angels, feeds them everyday. I do the mantainence, because being a discus keeper, I can't look at that little tank for more than a week without having to do a water change on it. Sometimes she gets annoyed because I spend so much time with my fish, but she knows I love it and tolerates my over-enthusiastic approach. ;)

-Mike T

04-08-2002, 05:13 PM
My wife is b-c range.  She has little or no interest in my fish but knows that I generally stick with my hobbies and it keeps me off the streets.  I told her that at 40 lots of men are dropping their wives & chasing younger women, I started some Discus tanks... she asked if those were her only choices.  She's come to accept the tanks and even suggests where I could fit more.  Right now she's designing the tank stand that will replace the shelving on the last area that tanks can fit so I will be able to add a couple 60g & 28g tanks.  So I'd say she's pretty accepting without having much interest.


04-08-2002, 05:33 PM
Well  my wife tolerates me and the fish!!  She will turn on the lights and feed them while I'm at work.  No w/c's  for her but she will call me if she thinks something is wrong!!  She likes them but does'nt have too much interest.  Come nightly w/c's  she has hit the high road.  She's getting better and is letting me get more tanks and more fish so long as they are blues!!   Anyone have blues for sale????  Hopefully she won't read this :-X :-/ :o


04-10-2002, 08:52 PM
dededededededededeeeeeeeee..... she is a bonafide, oklahoma bred, fish hatin, ain't put up with nothing yet, terror of a mate. to have to share a home with fish, is unheard of. no value. a genuine fish hater!!!!
been together 15  years guys, i got my first discus in 88, she never changed. oh, except the first spawn of a pair i had waited their whole lives for spawned while i was out of town recently, she called me and took video to tease me cause i was gone. maybe she is a closet discus freak and she won't show me??????? she hides it very well...

04-10-2002, 11:38 PM
Hope for the best,

Just keep thinking to your self that she is a Closet discus freak.


04-11-2002, 06:42 AM
I knew there was one out there!  Of course it could be that she's just so used to the game of "hating" the fish she won't admit she's grown to like them...

If it's worked since '88, I think you're safe, now!


11-15-2002, 04:29 PM
Oh the joy's of Discus keeping. Is there an A+ catagorie? My wife is with me 98%, she cleans tanks feeds the young. Even was raising new hatched and did pretty good at it. Then when we moved and I became semi retired it became my task. Good thing is she picks out the ones she wants us to keep, is talking about a tank for the room outside the bedroom, The sitting room. She went out and got Roger-Stanly-Earl, her Betta for the computer desk. I help her with her birds, and the dogs. We will probably look at some fish in Denver within the month. She is ruthless about any pepper on a Discus, says the should all be clean. I have had to sell a couple of pair because she don't like them spots. All and all things are good. K.

11-18-2002, 09:53 AM
I think my wife is mainly passive. She does get a bit annoyed with the time I spend going to the lfs but she tolerates it. But then again she can annoy me----the other day my big discus was not looking good at all so I was talking about it. Then onto another subject I went to call my dad and she ask's if Im calling the Discus Helpline.----That was just plain mean !! But overall I think she enjoys them just not a fanatic by any means.