I discovered that I'm a drug addict! long...

First off let me say that I have never taken slow down drugs of go fast drugs to get high. Never never never. I know that I have an addictive personality and I've seen with my own eyes how these drugs can ruin people's lives.

Because of bad discs in my back I take 4 Tramadol a day and because of stenosis I take 9 Gababentin a day. The Tramadol is a the mildest of all the narcotics and is controlled but much less controlled than say Percocet. Gabapentin is by prescription but not a controlled substance. I hope that after back surgery I'll be able to get off most of this stuff. I hate having to use drugs to get by.

Friday I ran out of Gabapentin and thought that I had another bottle hiding behind something in a cabinet. Now, I've run out of Tramadol before and was able to suck it up until my script was figured out by the pain doctor and my family doctor. Each thought that the other should be prescribing it. I thought the same thing about being out of Gabapentin because it is not a controlled drug. I was wrong.

Saturday night I started feeling miserable with shivering sweats. I did get dressed Sunday morning but felt so bad that I got back into my jammies and in bed. I took my temp and it was 96.8.
I took it again. 98.6. I thought, hell if it goes any lower I'll be dead but I was so miserable I didn't care if I died. The poor horse didn't even get her lunch which is a treat of alfalfa cubes soaked in water. She got breakfast and dinner because since she can't eat grass it is necessary for her to live. The poor fish didn't even get a WC. Even though I have fry that needed it. I felt so bad that I decided to get a Covid test Monday even though I had none of the typical Covid symptoms and mask up whenever I go somewhere.

Monday I had the tests for flu and Covid. I came out negative for both. I had already called my family doctor to get my scrip refilled but it wouldn't be ready until after lunch. It was just an aside that I told the nurse at the clinic who gave me a good exam that I had been out of Gabapentin for 3 days. That's when she realized that I was going through withdrawal from a drug that doesn't even get you high. I went straight from the clinic into Ellisville where the drug store is. I took 3 Tramadol as I was driving home, 3 more when I hit the sack and 3 more in the wee hours of the morning. Today I feel normal again.

I piss and moan about my back and not being able to do any of the physical labor that I enjoyed so much. I'm not pissing and moaning today. I felt so good I took my rollator and rolled up my long dirt road to visit my neighbor who just moved into the house that they've been working on for so long. He has a Great Pyrenees that I can no longer groom although I would love nothing more that get my hands on that dog's hair and make him beautiful. He does his best to keep up the dog's coat but he's not a groomer. I knew that Shawn needed grooming tools that he doesn't have but I do. I rolled all the way home picked up 3 tools and rolled back up to give them to him. I never feel well enough to roll up and down the road 4 times but I do today. It's weird to discover that I'm a drug addict due to a "non addictive" drug. I can't imagine what people who are addicted to Percocet or meth go through when they try to quit.

Hang in there. Hopefully you won't need these things after back surgery...

Thats terrible but apparently very common. I was prescribed Gabapentin for neuropathy in my right foot but when i read the side effects i decided i would live with the burning in my foot than risk the side effects. Thankfully it's a low-grade pain, not the shooting pains that accompany back problems. Hope you can find relief for your pain that won't involve too many drugs.

Liz for what it is worth you are not an addict. You do have a physiologic dependence on Gabapentin. It is primarily an anti-seizure medication and most if not all of this class will induce dependence which is defined by adverse mental and/or physical symptoms associated with abrupt termination of the medication. For what its worth some folks have rebound hypertension if they abruptly terminate blood pressure medications, that is a form of dependence as well. The only shortfall I see here is that your prescribing provider did not warn you of these symptoms should you abruptly terminate the gabapentin, might also happen with the Ultram. I assume you meant 9 gabapentin, not Ultram over the 24 hours after refilling the Rx. An addict by contrast is someone who abuses a drug, and whose number one priority is ensuring an ongoing supply of that drug. There are other criteria as well, but you were using the drug in question to address a pathological condition AKA neuropathy associated with spinal stenosis and the drug is not the focus of your attention. I hope you are one of the folks who get significant symptom relief from surgery and you can cut down or eliminate both the Gabapentin and Ultram. Best of luck.......

100% Agree with Doug. Especially: "An addict by contrast is someone who abuses a drug,..."

Don't dare feel guilty for needing it for the purpose it's meant. I "get it", you wish you didn't have the dependency... but that means none of us would want ailments ever (wishful thinking by all of us now or eventually).

Hang in there, crackhead (meant with endearment, but probably still a "bad Elliot joke"... I have the tendency to make jokes during sh***y situations)

A little humor is often a good thing
Doug.....AKA Don:)

Sorry Don! I screwed up and put "Doug" (brain dead after work... keep calling my son's by the dog's name and the dog by my one of my son's names... I also shook salt into a midday cup of coffee)

Liz, I agree with all the above except the attempt to rename Don to Doug. :D With a little luck the back surgery will help and you can get off the unwanted meds and get back to your normal self. Thinking of you and we are here for you.
Pat

Elliot, I love it when people I like poke fun at me or even insult me. It makes me feel as though they like me back. Doug, thank you for telling me the difference between what I had going on and addiction. I didn't know that it had a name other than addiction. It makes me feel better. Still, I might talk to my Doctor about seeing how I do on a lower dose. Pat and Brian, The back surgeon won't be able to fix me because what I have is degenerative. I sure am counting on it will enable me to do more physical labor with less pain and exhaustion until I up and get struck by a bolt of lightning and go up in a dramatic puff of smoke. Physical labor has always been my drug of choice and look what all that fun has cost my body.

Wow, what a rough week, hope your doing better. Have your doctor suggested epidural spinal injection, it may help with some of the pain.

Cliff

It was rough Cliff but now that I know what was wrong and fixed it I'm feeling good. It's not the pain that bothers me. Well it does but I can deal with it. What I hate is that just doing my normal stuff wears me slam out. I have to lie flat on my back to prepare myself for WC and when I hit the sack I sleep for like 11 hrs. I would rather spend my life doing stuff than being in bed.

I've already seen the pain doctor and have had 2 steroid injections which didn't help and then he burned some nerves in the bad part of my back. He did everything he could and nothing worked. I had an MRI done and I have 2 unstable vertebrae in my lower back. The pain Dr. said that the neurosurgeon would fuse those 2 vertebrae and chisel off some of the calcium deposits on my spine causing the stenosis. (I know he doesn't use a hammer and chisel but that's the easiest way to explain it.) It should give me a good bit of relief.

All of y'all have been so kind to me. I appreciate it but I feel guilty about talking about my structural problems on a fish forum. It's normal that things start falling apart when we get old. I'm just grateful that I didn't start falling apart until I was 65 and able to get on Medicare.