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Thread: Parents, need your feedback/advice please...

  1. #1
    Administrator brewmaster15's Avatar
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    Default Parents, need your feedback/advice please...

    Hi all,
    Question for you. My daughter,age 15, is involved with the school music program. They are going to Philadelphia in the spring to play at an event. They will also visit museums and historical sites. The trips a 4 day event. 5 hour bus ride and stay over. It will be chaparoned by the school.

    Normally when my kids have these activities my wife or I have gone. This time we would not go.

    I've got very mixed feelings on this one. My daughter is extremely smart, common sense driven, and responsible. I trust her implicitedly. What I don't trust is chaparones I have never even met, the venue where they will be housed,and the other kids on the trip. I've never even been to that city before so theres that too. Lastly, the world is a scary place these days, true it always has been,but lately theres been more violence targeting kids and schools then in the past so thats a concern.


    Given what I have told you would you let your 15 year old son or daughter go on this trip? I realize that in a few short years she will be off to college and on her own..But she will be older then as well.

    I realize that everyone has their own parenting styles, some let their kids go early on..others hold on as long as they can. Understand this isnt about whether my daughter is old enough or responsible enough.. She is. Its about all the factors she could not control.

    Al
    Last edited by brewmaster15; 10-27-2016 at 05:26 PM.
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  2. #2
    Administrator and MVP Dec.2015 Second Hand Pat's Avatar
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    Default Re: Parents, need your feedback/advice please...

    Al, I would allow my daughter to go. Sounds like she is ready for something like this. You have taught her well and at some point you will need to cross this bridge as a parent. To help relieve some of your concerns you might consider asking the school about their chaperone selection and vetting process. Are the chaperones teachers, parents? What are the sleeping arrangements etc. Ask the questions you need to ask and if the answers are not to your satisfaction maybe this is not the first trip she should solo.
    Pat
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    Registered Member John_Nicholson's Avatar
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    Default Re: Parents, need your feedback/advice please...

    As you know I have 3 daughters. While I would feel the same way you do I would not hesitate to let her go. They can't grow if you don't let them go.

    -john
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    Default Re: Parents, need your feedback/advice please...

    Al, like John I have 3 daughters. Yes, it's a scary world out there today, not exactly the world we grew up in. I agree with both Pat and John, ask your questions as Pat suggested. And as John said, they can't grow up if we don't let them. Scary as it is, if you are satisfied with the answers you get from grilling the school. Let her go. HTH
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    Registered Member Cevoe's Avatar
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    Default Re: Parents, need your feedback/advice please...

    Al,

    Having two daughters too I feel the same way.
    But I also believe kids need to make their own way and have a chance to apply what they have been taught by us from the beginning.
    You also have a big Al fan and fellow Gumba right here in the City of Brotherly Love if you may need anything.
    After giving the chaparones at least a quick once-over I say put your trust in her and her parents and let her go.
    Feel free to pm if you want an idea of where they will be staying or an overall lay of the land.
    Chris V.

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    Administrator brewmaster15's Avatar
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    Default Re: Parents, need your feedback/advice please...

    Quote Originally Posted by Cevoe View Post
    Al,

    Having two daughters too I feel the same way.
    But I also believe kids need to make their own way and have a chance to apply what they have been taught by us from the beginning.
    You also have a big Al fan and fellow Gumba right here in the City of Brotherly Love if you may need anything.
    After giving the chaparones at least a quick once-over I say put your trust in her and her parents and let her go.
    Feel free to pm if you want an idea of where they will be staying or an overall lay of the land.
    Thanks Chris!! and thanks everyone else.
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    Homesteader RogueDiscus's Avatar
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    Default Re: Parents, need your feedback/advice please...

    Hi Al,
    As a former middle school band director, I took my students on similar trips several times, to Portland. Your concerns are reasonable. Given that there is time before the trip, I would suggest asking the teacher to hold a parent meeting some evening, probably closer to the event, or now and later, to let you meet everyone involved, ask about the plan for the trip, and generally to get comfortable with the organization for the event. At the very least I would expect you to receive a list of chaperones and a fairly detailed itinerary.

    Around here, chaperones all go through background checks.
    Last edited by RogueDiscus; 10-27-2016 at 02:19 PM.
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    Registered Member Larry Bugg's Avatar
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    Default Re: Parents, need your feedback/advice please...

    My daughter's class will be going to Washington this year and she is also 13. My daughter actually doesn't want to go unless my wife goes also so my wife is going to try and be one of the chaperones. If my wife was unable to go and my daughter wanted to go without her mother, I would absolutely let her. Would I be on the edge of my seat the entire time......................................YES!!!
    Larry Bugg

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    Homesteader Altum Nut's Avatar
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    Default Re: Parents, need your feedback/advice please...

    Quote Originally Posted by RogueDiscus View Post
    Hi Al,
    As a former middle school band director, I took my students on similar trips several times, to Portland. Your concerns are reasonable. Given that there is time before the trip, I would suggest asking the teacher to hold a parent meeting some evening, probably closer to the event, or now and later, to let you meet everyone involved, ask about the plan for the trip, and generally to get comfortable with the organization for the event. At the very least I would expect you to receive a list of chaperones and a fairly detailed itinerary.

    Around here, chaperones all go through background checks.
    Steve +1
    This is exactly what happened when my 13 yr old daughter went on a 3 day school trip. Met the chaperones at a scheduled meeting which were Teacher/Parents and they had a slide show with many questions by us..."Concerned Parents". We were pleased in the end and most important finding out she had a great time with her school friends.
    Dad's will always be protective of their little girls..so know how you feel.
    Al...at 16 I approved another school trip as she spent a week in South America which was for me a long sleepless week.
    Large and over populated cities can be somewhat overwhelming for some raised in the country and see why your concern raised red flags.

    ...Ralph
    "Success comes from knowing that you did your best to become the best that you are capable of becoming."
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    Registered Member Ardan's Avatar
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    Default Re: Parents, need your feedback/advice please...

    Al
    Parenting is tough! "One" of the hardest things is letting the kids start to break away. I think its a big step that means a lot to the kids when we start to do that. It ain't easy! We have to look at what we have taught, look at how good the kids are turning out, be there for them, pray, trust.... and if they are ready, let em go. It will draw you closer and farther if you know what I mean.
    We will all pray! They learn an awful lot when we let them go, part of that is appreciating what you have taught them.

    Ardan

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    Administrator brewmaster15's Avatar
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    Default Re: Parents, need your feedback/advice please...

    Thanks everyone! You all helped alot to put me into a slightly more open minded frame of thought which was needed since I had to be at the school tonight for an informational meeting. I've got a few days to decide and mull over the information packet and discussions at the school but I am leaning towards letting her go.

    al
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    Registered Member rickztahone's Avatar
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    Default Re: Parents, need your feedback/advice please...

    Trustworthy daughter brought up right. You have nothing to worry about. You will always worry about everyone else impacting her, but we can never control everyone else. There are crazy people out there, but you can encounter them on a family trip to the grocery store. Prepare her for different situations and express to her how much you trust her

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    Homesteader RogueDiscus's Avatar
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    Default Re: Parents, need your feedback/advice please...

    I think we got a new forum going here!
    Lifting dictionaries literally strengthens your muscles.

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    Registered Member CraigJ's Avatar
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    Default Re: Parents, need your feedback/advice please...

    Quote Originally Posted by brewmaster15 View Post
    Hi all,
    Question for you.

    Given what I have told you would you let your 15 year old son or daughter go on this trip? I realize that in a few short years she will be off to college and on her own..But she will be older then as well.

    Al
    Perfect timing as my 20 year old daughter just called to ask if she could go on a field trip to Africa. I'm sure you know parenting doesn't end, at least for me, when they go off to college and on their own. Actually, I'm kind of parenting my 90 year old mother as well....



    Craigj

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    Default Re: Parents, need your feedback/advice please...

    For me, . . . . only one daughter but two sons through HS, college and now into adulthood. . . .
    True, for a parent there is nagging apprehension as you mull easing a child towards the 'real' world.
    Typically a school sanctioned trip with certainly endorsed chaperones will be a good, safe, learning experience for your daughter.

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