Love the snow... (funny!)

[brewmaster15]

> >
> > >
> > > Subject: LOVE THE SNOW
> > >
> > > Love the Snow
> > >
> > > December 8 - 6:00 PM. It started to snow. The first snow of the
> > > season and the wife and I took our cocktails and sat for hours
> > > by the window watching the huge soft flakes drift down from heaven.
> > > It looked like a Grandma Moses Print. So romantic we felt like
> > > newlyweds again. I love snow!
> > >
> > > December 9 - We woke to a beautiful blanket of crystal white
> > > snow covering every inch of the landscape. What a fantastic sight!
> > > Can there be a more lovely place in the Whole World? Moving here was
> > > the best idea I've ever had. Shoveled for the first time in years and
> > > felt like a boy again. I did both our driveway and the sidewalks.
> > > This afternoon the snowplow came along and covered up the sidewalks
> > > and closed in the driveway, so I got to shovel again. What a perfect
> > > life.
> > >
> > > December 12 - The sun has melted all our lovely snow. Such a
> > > disappointment. My neighbor tells me not to worry, we'll
> > > definitely have a white Christmas. No snow on Christmas would be
awful!
> > > Bob says we'll have so much snow by the end of winter, that I'll never
> > > want to see snow again. *I don't think that's possible. Bob is such a
> > > nice man, I'm glad he's our neighbor.
> > >
> > > December 14 - Snow lovely snow! 8" last night. The temperature
> > > dropped to-20. The cold makes everything sparkle so. The wind took my
> > > breath away, but I warmed up by shoveling the driveway and sidewalks.
> > > This is the life! *The snowplow came back this afternoon and buried
> > > everything again. *I *didn't realize I would have to do quite this
> > > much shoveling, but I'll certainly get back in shape this way. I wish
> > > I wouldn't huff and puff so.
> > >
> > > December 15 - 20 inches forecast. Sold my van and bought a 4x4
> > > Blazer. *Bought snow tires for the wife's car and 2 extra shovels.
> > > Stocked the freezer. The wife wants a wood stove in case the
electricity
> > > goes out. *I think that's silly. We aren't in Alaska, after all.
> > >
> > > December 16 - Ice storm this morning. Fell on my *** on the ice in
> > > the driveway putting down salt. Hurt like hell. The wife laughed for
> > > an hour, which I think was very cruel.
> > >
> > > December 17 - Still way below freezing. Roads are too icy to go
> > > anywhere. *Electricity was off for 5 hours. I had to pile the blankets
> > > on to stay warm. *Nothing to do but stare at the wife and try not to
> > > irritate her. *Guess I should've bought a wood stove, but won't admit
> > > it to her. God I hate it when she's right. I can't believe I'm
freezing
> > > to death in my own living room.
> > >
> > > December 20 - Electricity's back on, but had another 14" of the damn
> > > stuff last night. More shoveling. Took all day. Goddamn snowplow came
by
> > > twice. Tried to find a neighbor kid to shovel, but they said they're
too
> > > busy playing hockey. I think they're lying. Called the only hardware
> store
> > > around to see about buying a snow blower and they're out. Might have
> > > another shipment in March. I think they're lying. Bob says I have to
> > shovel
> > >
> > > or the city will have it done and bill me. I think he's lying.
> > >
> > > December 22 - Bob was right about a white Christmas because 13 more
> > > inches of the white **** fell today, and it's so cold it probably
won't
> > > melt till August. Took me 45 minutes to get all dressed up to go out
to
> > > shovel and then I had to piss. By the time I got undressed, pissed and
> > > dressed again. *I was too tired to shovel. Tried to hire Bob who has a
> > > plow on his truck for the rest of the winter; but he says he's too
busy.
> > > I think the a_hole is lying.
> > >
> > > December 23 - Only 2" of snow today. And it warmed up to 0. The wife
> > > wanted me to decorate the front of the house this morning. What is
> > > she nuts!!! Why didn't she tell me to do that a month ago? She
> > > says she did but I think she's lying.
> > >
> > > December 24 - 6." Snow packed so hard by snowplow, l broke the shovel.
> > > Thought I was having a heart attack. If I ever catch the son of a
> > > ***** who drives that snow plow I'll drag him through the snow by his
> > balls
> > >
> > > and beat him to death with my broken shovel. I know he hides around
the
> > > corner and waits for me to finish shoveling and then he comes down the
> > > street
> > > at 100 miles an hour and throws snow all over where I've just been!
> > > Tonight the wife wanted me to sing Christmas carols with her and open
> our
> > > presents, but I was too busy watching for the damn snowplow.
> > >
> > > December 25 - Merry f---ing Christmas! 20 more inches of the damn slop
> > > tonight. Snowed in. The idea of shoveling makes my blood boil. God
> > > I hate the snow! Then the snowplow driver came by asking for a
donation
> > > and I hit him over the head with my shovel. The wife says I have a bad
> > > attitude. I think she's a fricking idiot. If I have to watch "It's A
> > > Wonderful Life" one more time, I'm going to stuff her into the
> microwave.
> > >
> > > December 26 - Still snowed in. Why the hell did I ever move here? It
was
> > > all HER idea. She's really getting on my nerves.
> > >
> > > December 27 - Temperature dropped to -30 and the pipes froze, plumber
> came
> > > after 14 hours of waiting for him, he only charged me $1,400 to
replace
> > > all my pipes.
> > >
> > > December 28 - Warmed up to above -20. Still snowed in. THE ***** is
> > driving
> > >
> > > me crazy!!!
> > >
> > > December 29 - 10 more inches. Bob says I have to shovel the roof or it
> > > could
> > > cave in. That's the silliest thing I ever heard. How dumb does he
think
> I
> > > am?
> > >
> > > December 30 - Roof caved in. I beat up the snow plow driver, he is now
> > > suing me for a million dollars not only the beating I gave him but
also
> > for
> > > trying to shove the broken snow shovel up his ***. The wife went home
to
> > > her mother. 9" predicted.
> > >
> > > December 31 - I set fire to what's left of the house. No more
shoveling.
> > >
> > > January 8 - Feel so good. I just love those little white pills they
keep
> > > giving me. Why am I tied to the bed?
> > >
> > >
> > >
> > >
> > >
> > >
> >
>
>
>

[BlueTurquoise]

is that how you guys feel about snow? I have never seen a white xmas ever. I think snowed in would be fun... (me blissfully ignorant)

Hey it is 44 degrees (111.2F) here in Sydney today and practically no humidity whatsoever, it is an absolute stinker! bushfires everywhere. The sun has been a red colour for 3 days ( I can say red cause you can look directly at it without frying your eyes becuase of all the bushfire smoke!) So don't feel to bad about snow! Can we do a direct swap?

Chong

[jim_shedden]

Chong : Do I have snow for you. They say that summer time up here is just a thaw on the skating rink.............. ;D

jim

[BlueTurquoise]

Deal Jim! Does UPS have rates for refridgerated consignments?

In return I will send you a bottle of bushfire smoke, all it needs is 2 mins on high in the microwave and you have authentic temperature too! LOL

Chong

OMG...
I am rollin, peein, and crying all at the same time. I had to stop reading at Dec 26th to avoid waking the Hubby. So true oh so true... ;D

Stuck in Minnesotan below zero weather [size=1/2](with no snow and 2 practically brand new sleds)[/size] forever.

:-\

[limige]

shoot, we don't seem to get much in lower michigan anymore....in november when we were hunting it snowed for three days straight for a total of 10 inches or so. but that was above cadillac..


that was too funny though! i think i woke my dad with me laughing so hard!

[jim_shedden]

We made the map way up here in Sudbury, Ontario. Yesterday we were the coldest place in North America.................its ok I don't want everyone to congratulate me all at once.............hopefully your turn is coming......... ;D...........-40 below F...............did you know that at that temperature -40F and -40 C are the same?.
Goota go and stick my tongue in the light socket to warm up......

Thats it! .... ! I just figured you out Jim.

I think you have done that one too many times.... ;D

[jim_shedden]

Chong.....................wana trade.................a balmy -38 on Sunday morning

[daninthesand]

Jim.

I feel bad for you. Thats the biggest damn driveway I've ever seen! I don't think that little five gallon pail will help much in clearing all that snow. But I wish you luck.... ;D

[BlueTurquoise]

Jim, just wondering have you ever experienced 44 degrees C? I have never experienced anything below -5 or -10 C.

I am happy to swap with you any day of the week! I am choking and running for cover here. Plants dieing, drought, smokey air, fire bans (including bbq!). From that pic, I would say that it would be just dandy to swap places with you!

I agree, you have the biggest driveway I have ever seen!!! ;D

Chong

[April]

chong...send a bit here......and we willl send a bit there..then we will be all the same temp. juuuust right.
if jim is -40....and chong is + 40....does that mean it will be 0 degrees? that doesnt sound just right to me......

[jim_shedden]

sounds like a heat wave to me April...............I'll pull the shorts out right now......................... ;D

[jim_shedden]

Chong : Do you know what that picture is? That is my ice-fishing for discus experiment. It has been a well kept secret that we have developed a wild strain of discus that can handle cold weather. They are called CWPB ( cold weather pidgeon blood) but they look like blue diamonds because they are so damn cold................ ;D

[limige]

jim, if it's that cold you are absolutly nuts fishin without a shanty!!!!

we're hanging around 0 degrees here. too cold, takes your breath away when you go out, you people down south don't have a clue, it hurts your lungs when your outside long, heck it's basically too cold to snow, if it did snow it would be some fine powder!

i do miss it though, we haven't had much acculation lately.

hey jim, you get many trout up that way?