Virus Alarm !!! lol.

[Smokey]

A member, Shorthair, just e-mailed me this bit of information.
I believe it is of importance - so I felt it must be shared with ohter S/D members....

> This is deadly serious, so don't ignore it. Several
> new viruses have been discovered and are wreaking havoc throughout the
>national system.
>
> Beware of...
>
> 1. THE ALGORE Virus.... (Causes your computer to just
> keep counting and counting)
> 2. THE CLINTON Virus.... (Gives you a 7-Inch Hard
> Drive with NO memory)
> 3. THE BOB DOLE (aka: VIAGRA) virus... (Makes a new
> hard drive out of an old floppy)
> 4. THE LEWINSKY virus... (Sucks all the memory out of
> your computer, then Emails everyone about what it
> did)
> 5. THE RONALD REAGAN virus.... (Saves your data, but
> forgets where it is stored)
> 6. THE MIKE TYSON virus.... (Quits after two bytes)
> 7. THE OPRAH WINFREY virus.... (Your 300mb hard drive
> shrinks to 100mb, then slowly expands to restabilize
> around 200mb)
> 8. THE JACK KEVORKIAN virus... (Deletes all old files)
> 9. THE ELLEN DEGENERES virus... (Disks can no longer
> be inserted)
> 10. THE PROZAC virus... (Totally screws up your RAM,
> but your Processor doesn't care)
> 11. THE JOEY BUTTAFUOCO virus.... (Only attacks minor
> files)
> 12. THE ARNOLD SCHWARZENEGGER virus... (Terminates some files, leaves,
>but will be back) -
> 13. THE LORENA BOBBITT virus... (Reformats your hard
> drive into a 3.5 inch floppy, then discards it through
> Windows

Hahahahahahahaha.

Smokey

[Darren]

That is classic!!!

[brewmaster15]

14) The Discus BUG...Inserts itself into the users harddrive, re-writting all common sense files, and leaving a repetitive line command
line 1 ...need discus
line 2 Buy discus
line 3...goto line 1
This is by far the most insidious virus as it has the ability to access all finanial information on hard drive, and liquid all assets. Those inflicted by the virus pass it along to thier friends without any knowledge that they are doing so. If you have been infected with this virus.. You are doomed. Remissions have been known to occur...but they are rare ,and the relapses can be severe.

-al

[korbi_doc]

:funny: :funny: :funny: :funny: :funny: :funny: :funny:



YOU GUYS ARE ALL CRAZY!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

Dottie ;D ;D ;D

[Smokey]

Well , thank you very much !!! ;D

[Rod]

lol smokey

[korbi_doc]

Awwwww Smokey, you knew I was just tormenting yuh!!!!!!!! Dottie

[boobar]

hi al

you forgot to mention that there is no anti virus against this one...
big problem... big... ;D

oren.

[Smokey]

I thought it was a complement ???? dot.

ok. hear is a little joke just for you ... Dottie


Calling in sick to work makes me uncomfortable. No matter how legitimate my illness, I always sense my boss thinks I am lying.

On one occasion, I had a valid reason, but lied anyway because the truth was too humiliating. I simply mentioned that I had sustained a head injury and I hoped I would feel up to coming in the next day.

By then, I could think up a doozy to explain the bandage on my crown.

The accident occurred mainly because I conceded to my wife's wishes to adopt a cute little kitty. Initially the new acquisition was no problem, but one morning I was taking my shower after breakfast when I heard my wife, Deb, call out to me from the kitchen. "Ed! The garbage disposal is dead. Come reset it."

"You know where the button is," I protested through the s! hower. "Reset it yourself!"

"I'm scared!" she pleaded. "What if it starts going and sucks me in?" (Pause) "C'mon, it'll only take a second."

So out I came, dripping wet and buck naked, hoping to make a statement about how her cowardly behavior was not without consequence. I crouched down and stuck my head under the sink to find the button.

It is the last action I remember performing. It struck without warning, without respect to my circumstances. Nay, it wasn't a hexed disposal drawing me into its gnashing metal teeth. It was our new kitty, clawing playfully at the dangling objects she spied between my legs.

She had been poised around the corner and stalked me as I took the bait under the sink. At precisely the second I was most! vulnerable, she leapt at the toys I unwittingly offered and snagged them with her needle-like claws. I lost all rational thought to control orderly bodily movements, while rising upwardly at a violent rate of speed, with the full weight of a
kitten hanging from my masculine region.

Wild animals are sometimes faced with a "fight or flight" syndrome. Men, in this predicament, choose only the "flight" option. Fleeing straight up, the sink and cabinet bluntly impeded my ascent; the impact knocked me out cold. When I awoke, my wife and the paramedics stood over me.

Having been fully briefed by my wife, the paramedics snorted as they tried to conduct their work while suppressing their hysterical laughter.

At the office, colleagues tried to coax an explanation out of me. I kept silent, claiming it was too painful to talk. "What's the matter, cat got your tongue?"

If they had only known.

Smokey
hahahahahaha

[Willie]

Pix?

[RAWesolowski]

Great comment, WEillie! Willie? Any relation to Smokey?

[Smokey]

Haaaaaaahahahahahaha!