Marvin, I know you will recover. I to and many others have been in your shoes. About a year ago I went through something I have never came across before and didn't lose everything,but lost alot if you know what I mean. I had just got my Pair to raise a good spawn and about two months later all my tanks came down with a something one by one. I think clearly there was a water thing going on,but from video I saw it look nerological or it could have been a swimming blader infection. Who know,but you did the best you could with what you had and knew.
Keep your head up and don't give up. Just take a brake and come back strong. This is what I did and things have worked out well.
Good luck and take care
Kyle