Breeding pair: Male is starving the female???

[Sasha]

I have a proven mated pair in a 37 gallon tank. The male (called "Scrib") is huge, thick and aggressive. The shy and submissive female has over several months become smaller and thinner to the point that I am very worried about her. She rarely eats, and if she eats, it is just a few bites and won't eat any more despite food being available in the tank. The most I can get her to eat are freeze-dried blackworms, which I have to break into bite-sized chunks and hand feed her while trying to keep the male away. Often times she will take the small chunk, and then she will spit it out for the male to eat.

Both the tank and the fish are otherwise very healthy with no other symptoms and good water quality.

I wonder if the male is "bullying" the female to the point of submission where he has "authority" over the food? And if so, what should my course of action be. (Note: I am not interested in breeding these fish again right now, and they have not spawned in several months.)

I am considering removing the male from the tank, but I only have one other tank to put him in - a 56 gallon stocked with 5 discus (two 6.5-7 inch adults (male and female pair) plus 3 four-inch juvies (offspring of the pair currently in the 37 gallon tank by themselves. I have no idea what sex the juvies are).

My options as I see them:
1. put Scrib in the 56 gallon - I worry about the fights that might occur between him and the other male, and I worry about overstocking.
2. put Scrib in the 56 gallon, and remove the female from the 56 gallon and put her in with the other small, shy female in the 37 gallon. Not sure if the very large female will also dominate my fragile girl?
3. put Scrib in the 56 gallon, and put one or two of the gentle juvies in with the shy female. Then the female will be with fish which are all about the same size.

I know I really should simply get a bigger tank and put them all together, but I do not have a good place in my home to accommodate a larger tank where I can still enjoy my fish.

How would you handle this situation? Thank you.

[DiscusLoverJeff]

You may need to just isolate the female for a couple weeks and monitor her eating habits. I would recommend going to a Petco and getting in on the $1.00 per gallon sale and get a 20 gal tank for her. Yes you can always keep her in the 37 but thats a lot of water to change for one fish.

See how she eats, if she is eating at all. There might also be a hidden issue going on internally and the smaller tank would be easier to medicate.

Hope she is better soon.

[Sasha]

Thank you, Jeff. I do have an empty 10 gallon quarantine tank. Do you think she would be ok in that small of a tank by herself?

[DiscusLoverJeff]

As long as you cover it well. Being that small she could get spooked very easily and you might risk her hurting herself and jumping out. I have heard of people using a 10 gal for QT, but not for a lengthly period of time.

[Sasha]

Thanks. yes, the 10 gal has a full lid.

What do you think about putting the large male (named "Scrib") into the 56 gallon tank, and/or switching him out with any other less dominant/smaller discus?

Not sure if my shy female would do better in isolation or with company. I do have one young German Blue Ram and a Sterbai Cory in the 37 gallon tank, so if I left her in the 37 gal. and just removed the male she would not be left totally alone. I also think it would be less stressful on her to not switch her environment nor put her in an un-cycled 10 gal tank?

[DiscusLoverJeff]

I think she would be fine in the 37 but my concern was if she is not eating, is it just from being bullied or is there another issue? Thats why keeping her alone might help identify the problem and easier to medicate and do bigger water changes until she regains her appetite. I don't think I would risk putting anyone else with her at this time (meaning other discus).

Putting Scib in the 56 is fine for now too. Just watch him for excessive bullying of the other guys. He may try and claim his dominance right away if he is the biggest.

Good luck, keep us posted.

[Sasha]

Thank you, again, Jeff! Greatly appreciate your advice.

Any other Forum members - do you give a +1 or have any other points of view? Has anyone else experienced a male-over-female dominance in a mated pair to the point of causing the female to lose weight and be reticent to eat?

[Chad Hughes]

Jeff has given good advice, so +1 from me.

I can't say that I've had a male starve a female to death but I've had males kill the female outright.

Seperation for a while will likely get the female back on food and de-stress her. The male may readjust his attitude one she's reintroduced but I wouldn't do that unitl she's eating and back to a healthy weight.

[a volar]

You just received great advice...... the only thing I'll do different will be instead of 10 gal use a 20 gal tank for your bullied female and watch for any signs of parasites......... Good luck with them

[Sasha]

Thank you to all. I will let you know how things go. Beyond the typical sign of "white poop", what other signs of parasites (I presume internal only?) should I be watching for?