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Second Hand Pat
01-01-2014, 12:38 AM
Anthony and David were both patients in a Mental Hospital.

One day,while they were walking, they passed the hospital swimming pool and Anthony suddenly dove into the deep end. He sank to the bottom and stayed there. David promptly jumped in and saved him, swimming to the bottom of the pool and pulling Anthony out.

The medical director came to know of David’s heroic act. He immediately ordered that David be discharged from the hospital as he now considered him to be OK.

The doctor said, “David, we have good news and bad news for you!The good news is that we are going to discharge you because you have regained your sanity. Since you were able to jump in and save another patient, you must be mentally stable. The bad news is that the patient that you saved hung himself in the bathroom and died after all.”

David replied, “Doctor, John didn’t hang himself. I hung him there to dry.”

OC Discus
01-01-2014, 01:21 AM
Ha Ha! Happy New Year!

Keith Perkins
01-01-2014, 01:51 AM
A man is driving down a country road approaching a secluded mental hospital when one of his wheels suddenly falls off his car. The car comes to a stop along side of the facility. The man gets out of his car and walks around to the passengers side where the wheel is missing from the rear of the car. Standing there perplexed with no idea what to do he suddenly hears a someone clearing their throat behind him. As he turns around he sees a man standing behind the facility fence dressed in patient clothing.

The patient says, "Looks like you've got a bit of a problem there."

The driver responds and says, "Yes, and I have no idea what to do."

The patient says, "Simple, go to the trunk and get out the jack and spare."

The driver responds with, "But I have no lug nuts to secure the tire."

The patient says, "That's not a problem, just remove one from each of the other three wheels, it'll get you to the nearest service station."

The driver is amazed and says, "Why are you a patient here?"

The patient responds, "I'm here because I'm crazy, not stupid."

OC Discus
01-01-2014, 01:56 AM
Have you ever heard of a Freudian slip?

It is when you say one thing and mean your mother.