This is probably why people don't help that much when they could

[chuckiesmalls]

I currently have a fish in QT and took the time today to really investigate the forum.

A common theme I have seen in too many threads is just down right arrogance and being dismissive. Let me elaborate:

I am currently trying to find more info on Metro treatments and went to the ER page and wrote a post among the many others. After and before posting I screened through many discussions in hope that I would find something that would suit my needs and what I saw was not-cool to say the least. I see so many of the same faces helping out the newbs, Ricardo, Al, Lighthouse, Phillydubs, Second Hand Pat--all users that may not know me but based on my readings I know them. They and many others on this forum are here to do their best to help and trust me some don't appreciate feedback.

Most of the times people are dismissive or asked a question they seemingly already had the answer to and IMO its BS.....Why even come on this forum to nay-say and push whatever agenda you may have.

You see those users with a billion previous posts under their profile--take the time to respect because these people are using the most finite resource on this planet (their time and energy) to HELP YOU!!!

I saw a thread that really bugged me. Someone was experiencing issues and explained their setup and what they do. They use discus buffer and another user chimed in and mentioned some negative side effects of that. Originally it was ignored but..... Low and behold several posts later the original poster who received the good info was making it seem like he found all of that info about discus buffer through their own findings and research....without saying thanks or giving credit where it was due! What the heck peoples! I know your life is important but how about a little gratitude for those who take the time.

Let's all appreciate the feedback we receive or else these great people are not going to be so kind with their feedback in the future. OR others (like myself) who may be new, typically get ignored by the more senior hobbyists here bc they see the little experience or time on the forum and theyre probably like, 'been there, got the t-shirt and nobody cared anyways"

Would you want to help if every time someone more novice asked your advice, you gave it---and then they just went about it the way they wanted to. Or were rude/dismissive some way SIGH.. Why come here? Oh yea to get your ego stroked. LOL

OR MY FAVORITE===someone claiming they are the best at husbandry of discus then you see a pic and its just bleHHHHHH!GET THOSE FISH AWAY FROM THEM!!!

Lets help each other and continue to encourage each other and openly accept feedback. Even if you think it may criticism that could have been verbalized better.. Take it in stride. Have some tact eh? We are all busy and we all get great info from the resources here. Lets not behave in such ways that would stop that.
Let's make this a community we can be proud of!!!

My two cents,

CJ :)

BTW-Thanks to all the members that go out of their way constantly to assist the community in their discus endeavors! We couldn't do it without you.

Be humble!

[rickztahone]

CJ, I have been part of this forum for many years, but have not been able to be helpful for all of them. When I first joined, I was the one with constant questions. I have always loved doing research, but at times, I would hit dead ends and would simply post a question here and I got the typical "this question has been asked a million times" comment once in a while from certain members. While it may have been asked a million times, I understand how threads get derailed, offer different viewpoints or even controversial ones and many times you just post on a certain subject just to make sure you are up to date with what the current general consensus is on the issue.

With that said, there were many members here back then that took me under their wing and told me, "do this...and do that" and I for one listened from the get-go. Have I had issues with discus? Absolutely, but IMHO, I would have had WAAAY more issues had I not been listening to advice from people that took me under their wing. The point of all this is easy, not just on this forum, but ANY forum, get a feel for who is actually giving you advice. Take a look at their stock, at their tanks and how they are regarded in the forum. It seems you have done a fair bit of this already, but don't sell other members short. There are many here who have been here much longer than I, and I assure you, the threads are very few that post questions that have never been asked before. Some have a great tolerance for answering these questions, others don't. We are all different at the end of the day :)

One thing I can tell you for sure though, if you read through SD long enough, you will get a resounding feel for what really is needed to successfully raise discus. It is all here, and it comes up very often. You just have to be willing to really pay attention to that underlying advice that everyone seems to give in one form or another.

Personally, I am always happy to help.

[warblad79]

If I'm the owner of this forum, I would be charging those people who post in the disease section and I'll give the credit who can give the best answer. People need to realize that maintaining the site is not free and those people benefited the most does not contribute anything to this forum.

[farebox]

Just want to say thanks to all at SD for getting me to the point I'm at in the hobby now. Sometimes people responses can be taken as harsh, but we all are human and feathers will get a little ruffled sometimes. Just chill and absorb the info put out there to help solve the problem. Again thanks guys, miss the spotlight of the month....

[Akili]

""We can’t help everyone, but everyone can help someone."" – Ronald Reagan .................. How Appropriate This applies to this forum.

[Lighthouse7]

Chuckiesmalls said it all "be humble" thanks chuckie! - Lighthouse

[Phillydubs]

Really well said and I could not agree more!!!

Appreciate the love! I am by no means an expert but if I think I can help I try... Even if I am wrong it gives another person an opportunity to correct me and help me gain knowledge as well as the others reading along...

I try not to get frustrated when I see those who come to find the answers they want to hear... All you can do is give your opinion or try to assist the rest is up to them... You can't spend someone else's time or money so what they choose to do with it is really out of anyone's control but their own...

Starting out like most of us with a few discus from a LFS, having no idea what they were all about and then scrambling to try and figure it out as I had them, like many of us here who went down the same path... I've learned so much by reading by interacting with and asking questions of other members...

I still mess up and still don't do things right... But hey it's all a learning curve right?

[jmf3460]

weird thread to me, bashing people that want nothing more than an ego stroke, yet your whole thread seems like a desperate cry for an ego boost to me. no offense to you OP but I do not see the point of this thread.

[John_Nicholson]

I more than understand what you are saying. There was a time I use to try to help everyone....in all honesty it got to where it was just not worth it to me. i still have time that I try but lots of time it just leads to aggravation. Some people ask a question and they already have a preconceived answer in their heads. If your answer is different they often get hacked off. All of us had a learning curve when it came to the discus world, maybe it is just something everyone has to go through. It would be nice if people could just learn from the mistakes of the past but some just can't. Not saying I know everything but I can generally keep the things alive....LOL.

-john

[Bif24701]

I currently have a fish in QT and took the time today to really investigate the forum.

A common theme I have seen in too many threads is just down right arrogance and being dismissive. Let me elaborate:

I am currently trying to find more info on Metro treatments and went to the ER page and wrote a post among the many others. After and before posting I screened through many discussions in hope that I would find something that would suit my needs and what I saw was not-cool to say the least. I see so many of the same faces helping out the newbs, Ricardo, Al, Lighthouse, Phillydubs, Second Hand Pat--all users that may not know me but based on my readings I know them. They and many others on this forum are here to do their best to help and trust me some don't appreciate feedback.

Most of the times people are dismissive or asked a question they seemingly already had the answer to and IMO its BS.....Why even come on this forum to nay-say and push whatever agenda you may have.

You see those users with a billion previous posts under their profile--take the time to respect because these people are using the most finite resource on this planet (their time and energy) to HELP YOU!!!

I saw a thread that really bugged me. Someone was experiencing issues and explained their setup and what they do. They use discus buffer and another user chimed in and mentioned some negative side effects of that. Originally it was ignored but..... Low and behold several posts later the original poster who received the good info was making it seem like he found all of that info about discus buffer through their own findings and research....without saying thanks or giving credit where it was due! What the heck peoples! I know your life is important but how about a little gratitude for those who take the time.

Let's all appreciate the feedback we receive or else these great people are not going to be so kind with their feedback in the future. OR others (like myself) who may be new, typically get ignored by the more senior hobbyists here bc they see the little experience or time on the forum and theyre probably like, 'been there, got the t-shirt and nobody cared anyways"

Would you want to help if every time someone more novice asked your advice, you gave it---and then they just went about it the way they wanted to. Or were rude/dismissive some way SIGH.. Why come here? Oh yea to get your ego stroked. LOL

OR MY FAVORITE===someone claiming they are the best at husbandry of discus then you see a pic and its just bleHHHHHH!GET THOSE FISH AWAY FROM THEM!!!

Lets help each other and continue to encourage each other and openly accept feedback. Even if you think it may criticism that could have been verbalized better.. Take it in stride. Have some tact eh? We are all busy and we all get great info from the resources here. Lets not behave in such ways that would stop that.
Let's make this a community we can be proud of!!!

My two cents,

CJ :)

BTW-Thanks to all the members that go out of their way constantly to assist the community in their discus endeavors! We couldn't do it without you.

Be humble!

Could you elaborate on this further, I'm not sure I get it. You want this to be a "community we can be proud of," yet the only purpose of this post was to vent frustration with "noobs" and to assert you self proclaimed superior knowledge base?

[Bif24701]

I also like this is strategicky placed within the beginners are. Wouldn't want those noobs asking stupid questions or replying to a response in any way other than how you see fit. BTW, who said they where using Discus buffer?

[chuckiesmalls]

Im not saying..."dont ask questions if your a noob" thats waaaaaay off!

Ask questions...for suuuuure! ..thats why this forum exists.

What i am saying is, "dont get all butt-hurt when you ask for advice and dont get what ur looking for"

Hows that for an ego stroke? Bwahahaha

[chuckiesmalls]

No superior knowledge..in fact lets say my knowledge is inferior.

[Bif24701]

Im not saying..."dont ask questions if your a noob" thats waaaaaay off!

Ask questions...for suuuuure! ..thats why this forum exists.

What i am saying is, "dont get all butt-hurt when you ask for advice and dont get what ur looking for"

Hows that for an ego stroke? Bwahahaha

Please tell me to what you refer exactly? Again, I really have no idea what your talking about.

[Bif24701]

Also I just wonder why you didn't not address your issues directly? Why not post this in the thread that seem to have made you so steamed. Tell me, what do you think the OP was looking for, and how are why would this person be "butt-hurt"?

[Bif24701]

If I'm the owner of this forum, I would be charging those people who post in the disease section and I'll give the credit who can give the best answer. People need to realize that maintaining the site is not free and those people benefited the most does not contribute anything to this forum.

Sir, I'm sure that many have felt the frustrations of trying to help out those you seek advice yet can not seem to get out of their own way. Especially the diease sections. If I have missused this forum, offend any member, or attack a member I could see how this could have spawned. However, I am truly lost for understanding as to why this was directed to my post about Discus Buffer.

[Second Hand Pat]

Guys, people join the forum for a variety of reasons; some to research, some in a panic due to sick fish, some wanting the comradery with fellow discus keepers etc. We are here to help education new discus keepers and sometimes they are not always willing to accept guidance of more experienced keepers but we continue to try. Sometimes advice needs to be repeated several times before it is accepted and some will never accept any advice due to perceived notions., attitude etc.

A members willingness to listen, adapt their methods and listen to their fish will be successful. They in turn will try and help new members as their experience and success grows and this in the long term help to grow and promote the hobby.
Pat

[Bif24701]

Ok, so can anyone tell me what I did? I looked over the thread again and I can't come up with anything that matches the description given by the OP, however I searched and found little else in this forum on the topic.

[chuckiesmalls]

Then u just arent meant to understand buddy. :)

[Second Hand Pat]

Perhaps a pm is in order.
Pat

[chuckiesmalls]

And if u think im refering to your personal discus buffer post bif24701 and think im talking about you....youre wrong..i actually just saw it this morning actually...so dont get all offended sheesh....

So if u think i was taking shots...ur wrong man...completely different post and not just 1 i was refering to specifically

[chuckiesmalls]

http://forum.simplydiscus.com/showthread.php?122882-On-going-discus-health-issue-PLEASE-HELP

This is the post...so as you can see...miscommunication can get very confusing

[Bif24701]

I just posted about discus buffer yesterday. I did assume, however I did ask.

[chuckiesmalls]

I get it, but put yourself in my shoes....I had no idea what you were talking about until the very end..and realized...wait...did this dude have a post about discus buffer..Holy ish, he thinks I was coming at him...LOL

Glad we got it all cleared up.

Good luck to your problem, as I do not have a clue about discus buffer. I use tap

Cheers,

CJ

[Bif24701]

I use tap also but since I make so much RO already for my reef tank I though there could be some benefits for using it, turns out there really isn't.

[chuckiesmalls]

I think it may depend on where you live and the purity of that particular municipality's water supply.

Like, some people get well water or some others gets water with too many particulates in it or PPM of a certain aspect of the water is too high for discus to tolerate so they use RO and add back a better more tolerable mix of minerals through a number of methods (one being discus buffer I think) but yea..never tried that. Been using tap from the get-go..having not known anything and trust.I am a NEWBIE....like, hardcore still..LOL

Hmm, maybe search the forum "REVERSE OSMOSIS WHY MINERAL" for keywords ??? See what pops up. What Ive learned from jobs is that youve really gotta get savvy with keywords to get what your looking for. I had to re-find the link I posted above :p

I'll keep you posted if I find anything but remember #iknowbasicallynothing

[rickztahone]

I think it may depend on where you live and the purity of that particular municipality's water supply.

Like, some people get well water or some others gets water with too many particulates in it or PPM of a certain aspect of the water is too high for discus to tolerate so they use RO and add back a better more tolerable mix of minerals through a number of methods (one being discus buffer I think) but yea..never tried that. Been using tap from the get-go..having not known anything and trust.I am a NEWBIE....like, hardcore still..LOL

Hmm, maybe search the forum "REVERSE OSMOSIS WHY MINERAL" for keywords ??? See what pops up. What Ive learned from jobs is that youve really gotta get savvy with keywords to get what your looking for. I had to re-find the link I posted above :p

I'll keep you posted if I find anything but remember #iknowbasicallynothing

Over the years I have found that it is better to go to google, search for something specific there and add SimplyDiscus.com to the search and it will yield more relevant posts than using the advanced search feature here. Just a small tip ;)

[delta5]

I've seen this on fishlore. People wanting to keep a common goldfish in a 10g tank, or 20+ fish in a 20g long, ect. When they get good correct information they turn to, 'well my friend does it and no problems,' or other excuses. It's like, 'why did you even ask your question in the first place then?' I'm not saying you should trust every response you get, but come on...

[warblad79]

The reason why people don't help that much because some people are not willing to listen and don't accept ideas from the person who are far more experience. They are freaking stubborn and they think their method of keeping discus is better than anybody else in this forum. I don't like those people who always ask for the same question over & over and don't even bother to use the SEARCH bar for a certain topic. Also I hate those newbie who bought discus but no clue how to care for them. They just dump the fish to a planted tank and don't water change enough.

[DJW]

"When I was a boy of fourteen, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be twenty-one, I was astonished at how much he had learned in seven years."

--Attributed to Mark Twain

[chuckiesmalls]

Love mark twain, he has some great quotes. I like,

"The rule is perfect: in all matters of opinion our adversaries are insane"

[DISCUS STU]

Though I can understand and possibly relate to your Thread, the posters on the forum aren't paid professionals bound by strict rules of engagement other than that they not "troll", "flame out" etc. other posters. They're just fellow hobbyists that are trying to communicate with one another in a loose community of like minded individuals in a very specific and specialized area of the tropical fish hobby as well as engaging in an exchange of information and experience.

Attitudes aside, if I'm going to start a thread and ask for feedback and the experience of other hobbyists I have to be willing to accept all kinds of feedback and parse the good from the bad. By and large, I'm also here to learn about matters outside of my normal realm of experience and have received a great deal of good, as well as other, information when I've started threads.

Could some people at some times be a little nicer? Sure, maybe, but it's all part of the "Big Fish" tank, full of many individuals. Taken in that light, I'm good with and appreciate this forum for what it is. Regardless of occasional frustrations, this by and large works very well.

Over the course of time, it also helps to develop a somewhat thicker skin to some of this. Leaving in frustration really wouldn't help the hobbyist that may need some very important information and feedback. I've learned a tremendous amount from this forum, regardless of the occasional "attitude" here or there.

[Phillydubs]

Well said Stu