Don't be Me...

[Phillydubs]

"The problem is the information was there but until you actually deal with a problem... the hobbyist thinks... it's not going to be a problem."

Talk about a quote that really hits home and I think we all can learn from...

This pretty much explains me perfectly, especially lately...

I continue to neglect advise, make dumb gambles and cloud my judgement... The only thing that I feel will help me get over it all and move on is letting others learn through me and my mistakes so that they don't have to deal with it down the line...

I was going to add this to my current thread but I felt that it should be a stand alone to catch the right audience...

Rather than deal with the gory details I will keep it short, my decision to mix two group and add a stray a week later from the same group and a local hobbyist has really burnt me bad. I lost the stray fish already and am now treating and trying to save the rest. It has been a roller coaster week and I have been rather bummed...

I go back to my original quote, one that was sent to me via a very respected man around here and at least I can say at the end of the day it was and is an eye opener... I've made up my mind that I start going back to a more textbook approach or leave the hobby all together, depending on the outcome here, I may scale back a bit and try some easier fish and build my way back to discus. I am not sure...

Bottom line is rookies, newbies, novice, experts and breeders alike all are tempted with new offers and additions and we all have that childlike invisibility mentality at times, the it will not happen to me mindset...

Yet, it happens! Take my word, no one is special when it comes to science, bacteria, disease, etc.

If my mistakes can save someone else then it would make it better for me! I hope to do that...

[PAR23]

Hey Phil I know you are going through a rough patch right now. We've all been there (at least I have) and done that. I admire your honesty and willingness to share your downfalls with others. The temptation is so great at times that it consumes you. Good luck with the remaining fish.....I'm pulling for you and the rest of the group.

[Phillydubs]

Thanks man! I appreciate all the help and support!

Can't only run here to brag and talk about the good... The bad things are part of the game as well and need to be noted... IMO

[Second Hand Pat]

Phil, I am pulling for you too. Please do not let one mistake ruin the whole experience. You can do this :D
Pat

[jim LI]

Good luck, Phil...

[DJW]

We are all trial-and-error specialists Phil...

[brewmaster15]

Personally I learn the most from my many screw ups.:) But that quote you posted Takes the words right out of my mouth! ;)

al

[Skip]

sorry to hear.. :/

[gunnerschh2]

I feel your pain Phil i've done it to often & i'ts not fun. Before this site i was a s#^*w up. now i'm only half a one.

[LizStreithorst]

Anyone who has been in the hobby for any length of time has been their found that out. I've been devastated twice. I dealt with it and kept going. It's either that or quit. Best of luck. I hope that what you have is one of the "usual suspects" and not a dread disease.

[adrian31@outlook.com]

Hey Phil,

Sorry to hear, I know there's a lot of support here for you. Remembering my recent low point in this hobby where I considered giving up, I want you to know all will eventually be ok. Yes we all do learn the most from our mistakes so don't give up.

Kenny

[Loosir]

Personally I learn the most from my many screw ups.:)

Yep! couldn't agree more.

My wife is tired of this trend but it always takes me three tries to do something right! Fish, DIY stuff, engine repair....never works for me the first time;)

[Filip]

Hang on there Phill .
You shouldnt forget years of enjoyment with your discus because of just one small incident.
I guess you are not very keen on explaining details right now , but I'm really curious of what exactly happend?
Did you mixed your Wilds tank with a new stock and got cross contaminated, or was it in the domestic tank ?
How many discus have you lost till now ?
Do you have any recognisable disease and treatment at your sight right now ?
Please share details if you will.Your bitter experience can help many of us learning from it.

Good luck Phill and please don't give up discus keeping yet .

[rickztahone]

Phil, in all of the years that I have been here, I have seen many come and go. New members, some with a good amount of experience, and pro's alike.

The problem is when you think that certain problems can't apply to you because you take great care of your own stock.

Truth is, you can have problems even if all your stock is in great health. All it takes is a scrape in your tank, or a bang on the wall, or.... you get the point.

What I am trying to get to is this, with the wealth of information we have here, you would expect everyone to follow it because it is all there, in truth because others have felt the sting of this hobby when it turns rough, and those experiences get told. However, we then forget, or time passes and we think that maybe this or that may not happen to you.

If you take all the precautions, you are still not guaranteed to avoid tragedy, but it helps even the odds a bit.

We are dealing with live creatures here. They do not conform to our idea of what they should be, they just ARE.

Thank you for sharing, many don't, and especially those that have been in the hobby for a while.

I've had my losses, but I try my best at avoiding unnecessary risks when at all possible.

I hope these pull through for you. However, if they do not, do not give up. These lessons need to be learned either by following someone else's advice and sticking to it, or by your own trial and error. One way or another, you will learn.

[Galvatron]

Phil, I feel for ya man. Years ago when I was a newbie to discus I went mad and had something like 20 in that planted 125. Then I had mating pairs in other tanks. Long story short... I messed up somewhere and lost most of what I had. When it was all said and done. 14 adults and 2 tank of fry (like 140) were gone in less than a week. The funny thing is I still get tempted to add more when I see posts from the sponsors.

[pitdogg2]

Can't only run here to brag and talk about the good... The bad things are part of the game as well and need to be noted... IMO

truer words have never been said...

In one time or another we all here have been incredible lucky with our decisions......then well there those time we want so hard to forget but if we did we'd like myself do it all over again. It happens that is what it is.

Hang in there pal

[Jack L]

learn from it...then not all will be lost.

i recently forgot about ph swings and was called a "mass murdered" by LFS staff..., ship happens

[atlantadiscus]

In life,often true success lies on the razors edge of failure.

[Phillydubs]

Hang on there Phill .
You shouldnt forget years of enjoyment with your discus because of just one small incident.
I guess you are not very keen on explaining details right now , but I'm really curious of what exactly happend?
Did you mixed your Wilds tank with a new stock and got cross contaminated, or was it in the domestic tank ?
How many discus have you lost till now ?
Do you have any recognisable disease and treatment at your sight right now ?
Please share details if you will.Your bitter experience can help many of us learning from it.

Good luck Phill and please don't give up discus keeping yet .

Thank you to all who reached out and sent some kind words or shared an experience...

Sorry to make such a somber post and just kind of leave it hanging but at the time with what I had going on I felt it was needed and I always try to be as candid and transparent as I can be here in the name of research and information and to help someone along the way... I truly feel that if I can help one person avoid an issue because they remember one of my dumb moves then in a way it lessens the blow/sting of such dumb mistakes...

Filip- I am happy to expand on my story, yesterday I was not really in the mood to do so but today as things have settled and I have battled through a bit, I will be happy to expand... I plan to do so in my homsteader section, as to leave this as it is and not to flood it with my own personal downfalls but a place where others can go to chime in or grab support for a dumb move or decision...

[Phillydubs]

Phil, in all of the years that I have been here, I have seen many come and go. New members, some with a good amount of experience, and pro's alike.

The problem is when you think that certain problems can't apply to you because you take great care of your own stock.

Truth is, you can have problems even if all your stock is in great health. All it takes is a scrape in your tank, or a bang on the wall, or.... you get the point.

What I am trying to get to is this, with the wealth of information we have here, you would expect everyone to follow it because it is all there, in truth because others have felt the sting of this hobby when it turns rough, and those experiences get told. However, we then forget, or time passes and we think that maybe this or that may not happen to you.

If you take all the precautions, you are still not guaranteed to avoid tragedy, but it helps even the odds a bit.

We are dealing with live creatures here. They do not conform to our idea of what they should be, they just ARE.

Thank you for sharing, many don't, and especially those that have been in the hobby for a while.

I've had my losses, but I try my best at avoiding unnecessary risks when at all possible.

I hope these pull through for you. However, if they do not, do not give up. These lessons need to be learned either by following someone else's advice and sticking to it, or by your own trial and error. One way or another, you will learn.

Rick, a lot of this is really wise, sound and strong advice and I will be sure snapping a pic of this and using it as a way to avoid further bad moves...!

[Phillydubs]

Phil, I feel for ya man. Years ago when I was a newbie to discus I went mad and had something like 20 in that planted 125. Then I had mating pairs in other tanks. Long story short... I messed up somewhere and lost most of what I had. When it was all said and done. 14 adults and 2 tank of fry (like 140) were gone in less than a week. The funny thing is I still get tempted to add more when I see posts from the sponsors.

The temptation is crazy real... Need to tap in to experiences like this and the one you described to fight it!! I think this feeling will stick with me a while and my temptations may subside for a time but I know they will return...

[Phillydubs]

truer words have never been said...

In one time or another we all here have been incredible lucky with our decisions......then well there those time we want so hard to forget but if we did we'd like myself do it all over again. It happens that is what it is.

Hang in there pal

#truthalltheway...

much appreciated pal... I need to hang onto this like you said and let it be my guard to never let it go down again

[Phillydubs]

In life,often true success lies on the razors edge of failure.

This is an awesome quote... where from?

[Jenene]

Phil, I am so very sorry that you are going through this. I had followed your new setup and I was/still am so excited for you. I had always been on the domestic side but after seeing your tank they really started to grow on me. It is like an acquired taste, a mature appreciation of what brought us to the domestics.

I am hoping with all hope that you can contain this and keep moving on. I can't even imagine how devastating this must be for you. The panic of the first realization that something was wrong must have been awful to say the least. One thing I know and it has been said here already is that you have been doing this a long time and have invested yourself and learned so much. We all listen to that alter ego on our shoulders from time to time and slip up but please do not let it destroy you or your passion. Everyone hear shares it and we all just have to remember the satisfaction is worth it once we achieve that balance while keeping in mind that it will be disrupted from time to time- that is a given. I remember before I got my first discus I watched Al's video on keeping discus and when he said they will at some point get sick- things happen, that scared the crap out of me. I love them so much though I am keeping them anyway and hope when they do I can pull them through. I hope you will still be here in the land of discus to help me (and everyone else here) through it because you will have been there, and hopefully come out of it okay. My one hope is that you do not give up- that would truly be the saddest part of all...

[atlantadiscus]

This is an awesome quote... where from?


Not sure who the original author of that quote was,but I heard it decades ago from a Real Estate mentor of mine when he was referring to how many new agents enter the business,put in the work,but are not seeing results and therefor leave the industry......when,if they would have hung on on just a little longer,their efforts would have began showing results.Basically,they quit right before success.That quote moved me enough to remember it years later.

[William1]

Hi Phil - first off I want to apologize for my abrupt post a while back. I questioned whether you actually QTed your fish as you have espoused so many times to others. Seems my suspicion was true. I guess what baffles me is why you keep buying more fish and cramming them into too small tanks for the group size. I would suggest you try to be happy with a group in the parameters that are shared here. Personally I see no need for more than six fish in a good sized tank, I have a 120, but the general rule is as you know of course, one fish per ten gallons of water. I see that as one of your problems, overstocking. Then throw in the bad QT and well... I'm saying this with good intentions, maybe next time you get the urge to add more fish, instead of buying them use the money to take your family out to a real nice dinner, or a weekend getaway for what some fish cost. I think you will see the value of turning down a can't miss deal or whatever when you have fun with your family.
As discus keepers, we feel we are the elite fish keepers in the freshwater arena. We look at the 29 gallon at our sister's house with a hodgepodge of fish swimming about a bubbling castle and we think, I'm so much cooler than that. This gives many of us the impression that we are better than the rules, because we are, you know, better. This thought was shared earlier.
I recently did much the same thing when my CO2 spiked for the 2nd time. I've been trying to grow plants and to be honest I pretty much failed for about the 5th time, with the CO2 this time. I was advised here to cut out the CO2 because the fish are the most important thing. Well I didn't listen, my guys were way off, but so was I, I got really sick while this happened and didn't check the bubbles. Finally I checked the CO2 and the bubbles were just cranking. 2nd time. No more. I'm following the rules. All of them. Everything is fine now, but they certainly didn't need or deserve the stress. I would love to add ten more Cardinals to my tank but I can see it wouldn't be worth it.
I again want to apologize for my previous post a while ago. I no doubt could have expressed myself better. Hang in there bro. I wish you the best of luck and quit buying fish! Cheers, BK

[Phillydubs]

William,

It is nice to hear from you and thanks for chiming in. No need to apologize but thank you. We are all here on a forum expressing ourselves. There will always be difference in opinion and some confrontation. In the end hopefully we all do it respectfully and tastefully and learn and grow. So while I do appreciate the apology you don't have to do so. I'm a big boy and I know even though it may come off harsh you mean well as do I.

I do not want to argue or mince words. But I will say this. The title of my post says it all. I'm encouraging others to not be like me. I've never once lied about QT or claim to preach something and. It back it. If anything I think I am overly forthcoming on this site and admit it all. I've never once berated a member or talked down to someone about QT or anything for that matter knowing I too have gone against it. That being said I will always preach what is right. I know to drive the soled limit. Do I speed at times. Guilty as charged. I know a foul mouth is no good. I'll tell my kids every day not to use such language. Do I? Guilty as charged. My point is. I make mistakes. I often don't even follow my own advice let alone others. But I will never make someone here think that's ok and will still stand by the right and wrong to help steer people away from such mistakes.

I do overstock. Again another admitted issue. However this time around I'm pretty much right there. 100 gals of total water volume. 9 discus and a school of Cory cats and 3 small pleccos. IM DONE I SWEAR. If I could lock the tank from the top and still maintain it from a small hole as to not add more fish I would. But my dumbass would prob go find a small fish that I could get in the service port! Lol

I love your idea. Truly. And I am going to use it. That money and time and energy can be used towards my family and to do something worthwhile and rewarding as opposed to gambling with my sanity and my tanks health. I am usjng your method from here on out and appreciate you saying it!

How about an update on your wild tank instead of all this sob story convo ?