Cheating on My Wife

[Paul]

Recently I haven't been getting much sleep. If you've seen that car commercial with the toy car pasted on the guy's head to illustrate his having car on the brain, then you can picture me with thoughts of a new tank. It's hard to conceal. Any suggestions on how to get a new tank past the wife and upstairs into a vacant bedroom would be most appreciated. So far I've managed to get it from the LFS to my garage. Wholly ****, here she comes now. Where's that tarp. We'll talk later.

Paul

[RichieE]

Paul, I have one up and running in the cabinet under my 125Gal. Your wife is going to find out sooner or later and so is mine. My answer is going to be "That old thing? Do you know how long thats been in the atic?" Rich

[DarkDiscus]

Paul,

Too bad they don't make a stealth tank... I think you'll just have to come clean and admit your guilty thoughts! Or you could get her into a wager like the one I made with my wife. Of course to get the tank you have to WIN the bet...

:'(

John

[Carol_Roberts]

You mean that old tank you picked up at the garage sale for a song? ;) Why would she be upset about that? ;) ???

Carol :heart1:

Come on now, every man knows the routine, A nice romantic dinner... :-*, some fine wine, flowers and maybe some jewelry, just because you lover her so much :love:.... The next day just bring the tank inside. She won't say a thing.... Until its cycled and ready for some new discus LOL

Mike

[Jeff]

I think Mike has the right idea. Wine, Dine, and then drop the line" Honey my Discus are growing and I need more room for them to be comfortable" ::) :-* ::)


Then hope for the best :o

[nalah]

that sort of thing worked when a had my shoes craze..... leave the box at the shop,leave shoes in boot until husband goes out - then sneak them in ....
then it was the usual "NEW,yer sure - if you paid more attention to me and the efforts i make to look good for you,you'd know they are old shoes."
but with a tank - forget it.
what i need is a new list of excuses now.

[Wolf]

aahaha :D

I love the tank under the 125g cabinet idea. Now that is slick. ;D

[Pick]

Like that old joke went.... She said it was her or the tank...I'm sure gonna miss that girl! LOL!

SERIOUSLY though, come clean and talk it out. Trust is worth more than ten thousand 7" discus and a 5000' fish breeding facility. (and hey, all you really want (right now) is this one little tank and a few juveniles right ;) ) She will reward you for your honesty.

TC

[mench]

Tell her the truth,or at least your version of the truth..LOL...I told the bride that by me moving the fish into a new room it would clear up all that space in the downstairs family room so then we could move all my M.Jordan stuff and other treasures out of the extra bedroom and down where the fish were,and then she could have the bedroom all to herself to make it into what ever her heart wanted....Worked like a charm,at least till she started looking at the bills from Home Depot....I think she stated something like" Dam it would have been cheaper to build another room for me and we could have left the basement alone" She is almost calmed down now,well untill the next round of bills comes in....At least the fish room is just about finished and is looking good.
So tell her a extra tank is way cheaper than a new room!!!!!

Mench

[April]

geez paul...its your birthday...telll her it followed you home.
works for kittens...
now...i dont seem to have that problem...i just have to control myself.
Mike..i hear your pauls wives favourite person!!

[paul_burney]

Hey April ya got the wrong Paul in mind here im paul_burney here not just Paul :) and ya thats right Mike is my wifes favorite person ::) ::)
Paul Burney

[April]

I have the right Paul in mind.....and ok...she wont go for" it followed me home routine. "
well i have no more advice then....just do it and get killed..and get it over with.
i'll keep my eyes on the buy and sell section...
FOR SALE: all my tanks and fish..and wanted one leanto preferably with electrical outlets.
why dont you just move into mikes new hatchery and get it over with?

[larry lob]

ok listen up and learn,

your LFS has started a weekly raffle and you won the opener !!!!!! congrats dude.
the beuty about this is that every now and then you happen to win. instructions as follows.....................
go to a supermarket and buy a book of tickets rip one out and put it in your pocket, when sitting at home with the wife pull it out and jokinly say make some room love this is my lucky ticket when she asks why say the LFS is having a raffle and your felling lucky the tank is yours.........what do you know .... the weekend your number won !!!!!!!!!!
come home happy as a pig in **** and she won't have the heart to say no(and spin the .... our luck is changing hun).

GL
Larry

[DarkDiscus]

Pretty sly, Larry!

I like that idea!

It once worked with my mother when I was a teenager. My wife would just tell me to put it in the basement until we buy a house and have more space, though...

:'(

John

[ronrca]

Paul,
Same jam I'm in but for some reason or another, Ive managed to convince my wife to allow me to get another tank! ;D

The story goes like this:
I had 12 2" Red turqs (now only 9, sold 3). Every night I come home, feed them beefheart, wait 15mins and then do a waterchange. My wife started slowly getting attached to the little juvs and to save time in the evening, she offered to feed my fish around 15 mins before I come home. Ive told her before that discus will eat from your, though I have never tried it, she did. Lo and behold, the first time my wife sticks her hand in the tank, 1 of the discus comes and eats from her hand. I think that little discus won her over (I'll have to feed that one a little more). Ive mentioned that discus grow at different rates and by splitting them up into like size discus, the little ones will 'catch up'. Of course I dont have any tanks so........I need another 50G. I dont have it yet as Im looking for a good deal on a 50G but she actually cant wait to get another tank. ;) ;D :D Yahoo!

So maybe buy some little cute discus! May help!
Wish you luck!

[Paul]

Wow. Are all of you still married and getting along. Don't answer that! This is going to be the most expensive tank I've ever bought. She wants a cruise to Alaska next summer. God do I hate cruises. I'm going to put on my best face and tell her that's a great idea. We'll start planning for it now. Come to think of it, this could be a great way to get that digital camera. Then I'll slip in this thing about another tank and hope she feels in the mood to reciprocate. Folks, this is a real gamble. If this backfires, I have a tank I'll sell cheap and trip I can't get out of. And to think this all started with a 29g tank and some tiger barbs.

Paul

[DarkDiscus]

Paul,

Still no way you can break her down and get her to like the fish, huh?

I feel for you, man.

Good luck...

John

[RichieE]

Paul, My wife pretended not to like my Discus for almost a year. I came home one night and checked the breeding tank for some eggs. Didnt see any. At Dinner she said "the Discus laid eggs today." I said"I didnt see any." She said"they are on the back of the cone". ;D

But there is a limit to her iterest. Absolutely no more tanks.


If your takeing her on a cruise I would start the bargining with half a dozen tanks and go no lower than two. Rich

[TOMMY]

Where there's a will, there's always a way! Jewelry is also a great bribe....(If she's into it). Set up your tank in secrecy, take her to the mall, come home and say look what I got for myself....

Good Luck! 8)

-TOm-

[nalah]

you men are all the same... wife bribery.
SHAME ON YOU

now stop critcising women and give me ideas on how to get around a male. ;D

[TOMMY]

Now now Pascale, that all depends on what you are aiming for... Give us an example...


-Tom-

[nalah]

lets see.
i only have 2 tanks. 3ft and 4 ft. i want another couple of tanks...for now...LOL.even a couple of 3 footers..that would be fine. not greedy (YET!) a fish room,i am prepared to wait.
and of course,one can't have empty tanks.

its useless - i can have hundreds of tanks..he doesnt care. just so long as i use no water and no electricity and i dont buy discus... :waaa:

[TOMMY]

What, is he the controlling type of male? I mean don't you have some kind of leverage in this relationship at all? :o

-TOm-

[nalah]

leverage...whats that? LOL.
actually,its no laughing matter..... and you guys think women are the whingers..... ::)

[April]

Poor Pascale....i say off with his head!!!!! easiest solution!
got life insurance on him?
then.fish money..and tank money.
sorry...all i can come up with. ;D

whinger....definition. perpetual complainer. ;D

[Spring]

Everytime I bring a new tank in, he says "That it!! absolutely no more fish tanks!" I do what I want to do. He thinks nothing of paying $500-$1000 for a firearm. Alls fair, I say!

Spring :fish:

[Liz_Streithorst]

Pascale, I hate to be crude but you can always offer/withhold the one thing that is most important to them.
BTW, I recently traded goats for carpentry. I'm getting walls taken out, doors moved, closets expanded, etc. I told them about it at work and they couldn't believe that I was able to trade all that for goats. I said, "OK, so I traded for sex." They looked at me and said, "I guess she DID trade for goats" LOL
Liz

[nalah]

this thread..cheating on my wife,is turning into
"how to get rid of a husband.
Liz - you wont believe it,but i think i married the one and only bloke on the planet that doesnt ask for "it".. so if its withheld,he's the one to do it and makes me suffer.

but lately,with all the wc i do,who cares,i'm too tired anyway...LOL

April - dont re-inforce what i have already thought of..LOL.
actually,i got myself a 44 gal drum today...too bad i've already put the water in. :smash:-know what i mean. ;D ;)

[April]

LOL Pascale. theres always a freezer....what happens to fish who are not quite right or sick?
freezer time.
:o
well just go get the tank .and say you need something satisfying in your life....that;ll work.

[oodi]

No, Pascale... there's 2... I married the other one! ;D



Judi
;)

[Lynn]

Well this thread has been very entertaining and creative, but it proves one thing to me.....I need to stay single!!!! ;)

;DLynn

[Richman]

Lynn,
You are wrong about that. Just get everything you want before you get married.

This reminds me of my situation about 14 years ago. My wife told me that 23 tanks in the house were enough. One more and she was leaving!!!! Well........after the divorce, I had 3 children to raise by myself as a single parent as well as running my own business. Took all my time and then some. So I had to get rid of all the fish and tanks. Backfired on me!! Now the youngest of my children is a junior in high school and the only one at home. This past year, I have started back into the hobby. Who knows, somewhere down the road I may want to get married some day. Maybe not, but right now I am accumulating all the "stuff" I want so that I will already have it. You should see the fish stuff, tools, etc. LOL It won't be an issue if you already have it!!!!!!

[nalah]

Judi,you're kidding me...wow.and here i was,thinking all these years that i was the only deprived wife...LOL
thats so funny. :bounce2: :bounce: :bounce2:

Lynn,this is my motto.. feeling lonely - buy a puppy.
cant write the rest,i'll get thrown off simply...LOL.
April,it seems,is one smart woman..just her and her fish.
April..way to go! :thumbsup:

[cattz]

LOl You can always do what herb does for me when he gets new fish. I always get to pick somehting out Ive been wanting and it shuts me up pretty good LOL


Tracy

[April]

wow Richman...sounds like you had your hands full.
well what you gotta do is get the fish..but also get someone who loves discus.
Pascale...im not all alone. i also have two teenagers im raising on my own. but i did it different than richman. i got them after i got rid of the hubby. something to entertain myself with.but my animals were always an issue...before.

[Pick]

I still say to just be honest. Two married people should be able to compromise for each others desires ;) If you are too ashamed to admit you bought the tank then there must be a reason. Tell her you did something without thinking and realize that she should have been in on it from the start or just take the damn tank back and get your communicator working. Sheesh!

Do not...I repeat...do not lie to your spouses. Trust is the foundation. And if the foundation breaks the house will come tumbling down. It is just an aquarium. What is really more important?

TC

[DarkDiscus]

Terry,

I could not agree more. We're just playing around here, I think...

John

[Pick]

I know most of this is tongue-in-Cheek John. But some of it isn't and I know there are some real world situations that were discussed in this thread so I wanted to give my real world opinion.

And don't think for a minute I have not lied to my wife about aquariums and fish. We've been married 23 years and I've had aquariums for 22 of it. Wisdom has taught me it's just better to be up front. Sometimes I get what I want and sometimes I don't. Now how did that tune go? "But if you try sometimes you just might find...you get what you need" LOL!

TC

[April]

yes...you are right..Terry. PAUL!!!!! TAKE IT BACK!!!!!!!!!!!
honesty is the best policy.
or tell her you weakened and you will repent..or return it.

[ronrca]

Well, Terry has a good point! As everyone knows, it goes both ways!

Spending money on tanks/fish does have its limits and for a time I was really bad (or good) at it. My wife got pretty upset at my spending habits (at least it wasnt clothes) and rightfully so. So, I had to change and now I have a 'fish account' that I put $100 a month into (that she agreed to although $5 would please her more). Whenever I want to buy sometime, I must have the money first! I plan on buying a 50G and I told her I would! She just made sure that I had the money before buying it and as long as I have the money, she's happy.

On the other hand, when she wants to buy something for herself, I do not put up a big stink because I know very well I can not just spend money on 'myself' and not allow her to. For a time she was on my case quite regular (and rightfully so) but now that Im 'controlling' myself, it is much better (or she is just getting tired of it and giving up). Its a give and take on both sides!

So, Paul! I guess your going on the cruise? ;) :D ;D

[TOMMY]

Okay Pascale....I think it is now time for you to invest in some spiked heels, some handcuffs and a nice size whip! A leather bustier wouldn't hurt either! ;D ;D ;D Now if you don't know what to do with these items, you're on your own!

-Tom-

[breed_beyond]

You all made mistakes, what you needed to do was find someone that is as obsessed with fish as you are so that you can enjoy the hobby together, that or if your already in a relationship try to convert them into a fish addict. If that doesn't work, well.....Equal spending every doller/hour you spent on your fish you should match with your other half, and if that still doesn't work well your screwed.........

[TOMMY]

I disagree with that theory..... If your obsessions/hobby were alike, I'd think that you would try to out-do each other or critisize..... But then again, it may work. Like filling in for each other.... like "honey, I worked longer today so do the water change for me.....again"..... hmmmm. I don't think so....

[breed_beyond]

Well I think it would work, my fiancee' and I have 2 sons, one is 6 years and the other is 7 monthes. They are not a hobby there are our babies, but to some their fish are their babies. So like last night she was up all night tending to our sick baby boy who is sick like the rest of the house, now since she was up all night and I slept, oday she is getting rest, and i'm taking care of our son. Now if my idea is right you could do the same with the fish. In fact both me and my other half both love fish, she helps my hand pick discus and helps to feed them, but that's where her helps ends, i'm the one that takes care of the water changes, meds and anything else, but she helps with the feeding. So I just thought it would work for other people because it works for us, and we have complete honesty, I tell her i'm going to buy a new tank and she happy because we get more fish to look at and enjoy. I told her I was gonna be starting a fish room since the house is getting crowded with tanks and we want to get more, she said ok. BUT YOU HAVE TO SHARE THE GARAGE WITH THE KIDS, I agreed and I now get half the kids get half for toys etc.

[Pick]

LOL! ahh, the trials and tribulations of marriage and aquaria. Hey, I've always heard that it is easier to ask for forgiveness than permission.

TC

[nalah]

i dont lie about the fish..a bit hard to hide a discus under your jumper...LOL
i earn my cash.so long as the bills are paid and food is on the table...whats the big deal.....

ok..i admit. the start up costs are big.... but after that...
so long as you are committed and you care for them,i dont see the problem.

could it be that "disputes" are really about something else,not really about the fish. if you took up skydiving?snorkeling,etc. bet there would still be those disputes....

Once married,your life is no longer your own. The rules change.that's the way it goes

[scottwheels]

I'm one of the lucky ones - Neither of us can resist a tank on sale!!! We need just one more 3 footer to complete our mini-hatchery and we need to stop buying new discus! It's hard (especially if someone had some snow whites for sale! ;D) but its that's they way it has to be (or I could build a fish room!!) I certainly couldn't do this without Ari! I travel away from home too much to keep discus in any semblance of health.

Cheers, Scott

[TOMMY]

Also I 'm quite sure most people have better(worse) things to argue about than a nice tank of fish.. And when this becomes an issue, someone should really go on a long vacation.

[koiXtreme]

Come on now, every man knows the routine, A nice romantic dinner... :-*, some fine wine, flowers and maybe some jewelry, just because you lover her so much :love:.... The next day just bring the tank inside. She won't say a thing.... Until its cycled and ready for some new discus LOL

Mike

Just bringing up a darn old but very REAL thread....
When I ask my wife if she would like to buy a new pair of shoes...or I come home with flowers...
she will only go "what fish THIS time...???!!!" :D

BUT we are still happily married (15 years now)

[Kal-El]

Just bringing up a darn old but very REAL thread....
When I ask my wife if she would like to buy a new pair of shoes...or I come home with flowers...
she will only go "what fish THIS time...???!!!" :D

BUT we are still happily married (15 years now)

Funny, I did the same thing with my Wife last night. Order her some shoes in order for her to allow me to order my first non local Discus from Hans. Can't wait for my order to come in on Friday.

[krislewis3]

You will be sooooooo happy?...

[frylover]

i loved reading this thread! Of course its the opposite for me.....being that im a "girl".....lol you boys. Just come clean, i know they know anyways, we always do! ;0

[astrochick00]

i loved reading this thread! Of course its the opposite for me.....being that im a "girl".....lol you boys. Just come clean, i know they know anyways, we always do! ;0

Yep, fellas. It's the truth.

AND, actually sharing your feelings as well as the info would be a good thing. "Honey I bought another fish tank, and I was actually a little worried about telling you. I don't want to make you unhappy with me, but you know how much pleasure I get from my fish hobby."
Then take a line from Mike and do the dinner date, romantic thing and you should be in the clear!

*just a little advice from the female perspective

[STHH]

Do not cheat on your wife over fishes. Just tell her the truth, ask nicely and persistently. Then give her a diamond ring or a cake.

[kkdiscus]

My wife doesn't count the number of discus in my current tank...but I get no approval of adding a new tank...yet...

I prefer to get the approval first before ordering the tank, as there is no way to hide a 7 footer tank in the living room... :p

[Tankster]

Persistence and honesty is key. After being out of the hobby for some time, about a year ago I bought my son a 16 gallon tank. The wife and I went together to pick it out because she was concerned about my "condition". We are looking at tanks and a pick out the 46 bow front... wife - that is too big... Ok how about this 36' it will fit perfectly... Wife- that's too big, the tank is going to make his room stink... How about this 29? Wife stomps off and I get the 16 gallon bow front "for my son".
She did not want a tank at all back then and now I am building out a 240 have just been granted permission to take what was going to be the poker room and turn it into my fish room. In the course of a year I have gone from my sons (*wink * wink) 16 gallon tank to owning a 240' a 75' 55, 40, and 16 gallons tank by being honest with her about how much I enjoy this. Sure, she rolls her eys at me when I talk about discus, or a new piece of gear, but that's ok, I've got you guys to talk fish with.