brewmaster15
01-20-2003, 03:11 PM
> >
> > >
> > > Subject: LOVE THE SNOW
> > >
> > > Love the Snow
> > >
> > > December 8 - 6:00 PM. It started to snow. The first snow of the
> > > season and the wife and I took our cocktails and sat for hours
> > > by the window watching the huge soft flakes drift down from heaven.
> > > It looked like a Grandma Moses Print. So romantic we felt like
> > > newlyweds again. I love snow!
> > >
> > > December 9 - We woke to a beautiful blanket of crystal white
> > > snow covering every inch of the landscape. What a fantastic sight!
> > > Can there be a more lovely place in the Whole World? Moving here was
> > > the best idea I've ever had. Shoveled for the first time in years and
> > > felt like a boy again. I did both our driveway and the sidewalks.
> > > This afternoon the snowplow came along and covered up the sidewalks
> > > and closed in the driveway, so I got to shovel again. What a perfect
> > > life.
> > >
> > > December 12 - The sun has melted all our lovely snow. Such a
> > > disappointment. My neighbor tells me not to worry, we'll
> > > definitely have a white Christmas. No snow on Christmas would be
awful!
> > > Bob says we'll have so much snow by the end of winter, that I'll never
> > > want to see snow again. *I don't think that's possible. Bob is such a
> > > nice man, I'm glad he's our neighbor.
> > >
> > > December 14 - Snow lovely snow! 8" last night. The temperature
> > > dropped to-20. The cold makes everything sparkle so. The wind took my
> > > breath away, but I warmed up by shoveling the driveway and sidewalks.
> > > This is the life! *The snowplow came back this afternoon and buried
> > > everything again. *I *didn't realize I would have to do quite this
> > > much shoveling, but I'll certainly get back in shape this way. I wish
> > > I wouldn't huff and puff so.
> > >
> > > December 15 - 20 inches forecast. Sold my van and bought a 4x4
> > > Blazer. *Bought snow tires for the wife's car and 2 extra shovels.
> > > Stocked the freezer. The wife wants a wood stove in case the
electricity
> > > goes out. *I think that's silly. We aren't in Alaska, after all.
> > >
> > > December 16 - Ice storm this morning. Fell on my *** on the ice in
> > > the driveway putting down salt. Hurt like hell. The wife laughed for
> > > an hour, which I think was very cruel.
> > >
> > > December 17 - Still way below freezing. Roads are too icy to go
> > > anywhere. *Electricity was off for 5 hours. I had to pile the blankets
> > > on to stay warm. *Nothing to do but stare at the wife and try not to
> > > irritate her. *Guess I should've bought a wood stove, but won't admit
> > > it to her. God I hate it when she's right. I can't believe I'm
freezing
> > > to death in my own living room.
> > >
> > > December 20 - Electricity's back on, but had another 14" of the damn
> > > stuff last night. More shoveling. Took all day. Goddamn snowplow came
by
> > > twice. Tried to find a neighbor kid to shovel, but they said they're
too
> > > busy playing hockey. I think they're lying. Called the only hardware
> store
> > > around to see about buying a snow blower and they're out. Might have
> > > another shipment in March. I think they're lying. Bob says I have to
> > shovel
> > >
> > > or the city will have it done and bill me. I think he's lying.
> > >
> > > December 22 - Bob was right about a white Christmas because 13 more
> > > inches of the white **** fell today, and it's so cold it probably
won't
> > > melt till August. Took me 45 minutes to get all dressed up to go out
to
> > > shovel and then I had to piss. By the time I got undressed, pissed and
> > > dressed again. *I was too tired to shovel. Tried to hire Bob who has a
> > > plow on his truck for the rest of the winter; but he says he's too
busy.
> > > I think the a_hole is lying.
> > >
> > > December 23 - Only 2" of snow today. And it warmed up to 0. The wife
> > > wanted me to decorate the front of the house this morning. What is
> > > she nuts!!! Why didn't she tell me to do that a month ago? She
> > > says she did but I think she's lying.
> > >
> > > December 24 - 6." Snow packed so hard by snowplow, l broke the shovel.
> > > Thought I was having a heart attack. If I ever catch the son of a
> > > ***** who drives that snow plow I'll drag him through the snow by his
> > balls
> > >
> > > and beat him to death with my broken shovel. I know he hides around
the
> > > corner and waits for me to finish shoveling and then he comes down the
> > > street
> > > at 100 miles an hour and throws snow all over where I've just been!
> > > Tonight the wife wanted me to sing Christmas carols with her and open
> our
> > > presents, but I was too busy watching for the damn snowplow.
> > >
> > > December 25 - Merry f---ing Christmas! 20 more inches of the damn slop
> > > tonight. Snowed in. The idea of shoveling makes my blood boil. God
> > > I hate the snow! Then the snowplow driver came by asking for a
donation
> > > and I hit him over the head with my shovel. The wife says I have a bad
> > > attitude. I think she's a fricking idiot. If I have to watch "It's A
> > > Wonderful Life" one more time, I'm going to stuff her into the
> microwave.
> > >
> > > December 26 - Still snowed in. Why the hell did I ever move here? It
was
> > > all HER idea. She's really getting on my nerves.
> > >
> > > December 27 - Temperature dropped to -30 and the pipes froze, plumber
> came
> > > after 14 hours of waiting for him, he only charged me $1,400 to
replace
> > > all my pipes.
> > >
> > > December 28 - Warmed up to above -20. Still snowed in. THE ***** is
> > driving
> > >
> > > me crazy!!!
> > >
> > > December 29 - 10 more inches. Bob says I have to shovel the roof or it
> > > could
> > > cave in. That's the silliest thing I ever heard. How dumb does he
think
> I
> > > am?
> > >
> > > December 30 - Roof caved in. I beat up the snow plow driver, he is now
> > > suing me for a million dollars not only the beating I gave him but
also
> > for
> > > trying to shove the broken snow shovel up his ***. The wife went home
to
> > > her mother. 9" predicted.
> > >
> > > December 31 - I set fire to what's left of the house. No more
shoveling.
> > >
> > > January 8 - Feel so good. I just love those little white pills they
keep
> > > giving me. Why am I tied to the bed?
> > >
> > >
> > >
> > >
> > >
> > >
> >
>
>
>
> > >
> > > Subject: LOVE THE SNOW
> > >
> > > Love the Snow
> > >
> > > December 8 - 6:00 PM. It started to snow. The first snow of the
> > > season and the wife and I took our cocktails and sat for hours
> > > by the window watching the huge soft flakes drift down from heaven.
> > > It looked like a Grandma Moses Print. So romantic we felt like
> > > newlyweds again. I love snow!
> > >
> > > December 9 - We woke to a beautiful blanket of crystal white
> > > snow covering every inch of the landscape. What a fantastic sight!
> > > Can there be a more lovely place in the Whole World? Moving here was
> > > the best idea I've ever had. Shoveled for the first time in years and
> > > felt like a boy again. I did both our driveway and the sidewalks.
> > > This afternoon the snowplow came along and covered up the sidewalks
> > > and closed in the driveway, so I got to shovel again. What a perfect
> > > life.
> > >
> > > December 12 - The sun has melted all our lovely snow. Such a
> > > disappointment. My neighbor tells me not to worry, we'll
> > > definitely have a white Christmas. No snow on Christmas would be
awful!
> > > Bob says we'll have so much snow by the end of winter, that I'll never
> > > want to see snow again. *I don't think that's possible. Bob is such a
> > > nice man, I'm glad he's our neighbor.
> > >
> > > December 14 - Snow lovely snow! 8" last night. The temperature
> > > dropped to-20. The cold makes everything sparkle so. The wind took my
> > > breath away, but I warmed up by shoveling the driveway and sidewalks.
> > > This is the life! *The snowplow came back this afternoon and buried
> > > everything again. *I *didn't realize I would have to do quite this
> > > much shoveling, but I'll certainly get back in shape this way. I wish
> > > I wouldn't huff and puff so.
> > >
> > > December 15 - 20 inches forecast. Sold my van and bought a 4x4
> > > Blazer. *Bought snow tires for the wife's car and 2 extra shovels.
> > > Stocked the freezer. The wife wants a wood stove in case the
electricity
> > > goes out. *I think that's silly. We aren't in Alaska, after all.
> > >
> > > December 16 - Ice storm this morning. Fell on my *** on the ice in
> > > the driveway putting down salt. Hurt like hell. The wife laughed for
> > > an hour, which I think was very cruel.
> > >
> > > December 17 - Still way below freezing. Roads are too icy to go
> > > anywhere. *Electricity was off for 5 hours. I had to pile the blankets
> > > on to stay warm. *Nothing to do but stare at the wife and try not to
> > > irritate her. *Guess I should've bought a wood stove, but won't admit
> > > it to her. God I hate it when she's right. I can't believe I'm
freezing
> > > to death in my own living room.
> > >
> > > December 20 - Electricity's back on, but had another 14" of the damn
> > > stuff last night. More shoveling. Took all day. Goddamn snowplow came
by
> > > twice. Tried to find a neighbor kid to shovel, but they said they're
too
> > > busy playing hockey. I think they're lying. Called the only hardware
> store
> > > around to see about buying a snow blower and they're out. Might have
> > > another shipment in March. I think they're lying. Bob says I have to
> > shovel
> > >
> > > or the city will have it done and bill me. I think he's lying.
> > >
> > > December 22 - Bob was right about a white Christmas because 13 more
> > > inches of the white **** fell today, and it's so cold it probably
won't
> > > melt till August. Took me 45 minutes to get all dressed up to go out
to
> > > shovel and then I had to piss. By the time I got undressed, pissed and
> > > dressed again. *I was too tired to shovel. Tried to hire Bob who has a
> > > plow on his truck for the rest of the winter; but he says he's too
busy.
> > > I think the a_hole is lying.
> > >
> > > December 23 - Only 2" of snow today. And it warmed up to 0. The wife
> > > wanted me to decorate the front of the house this morning. What is
> > > she nuts!!! Why didn't she tell me to do that a month ago? She
> > > says she did but I think she's lying.
> > >
> > > December 24 - 6." Snow packed so hard by snowplow, l broke the shovel.
> > > Thought I was having a heart attack. If I ever catch the son of a
> > > ***** who drives that snow plow I'll drag him through the snow by his
> > balls
> > >
> > > and beat him to death with my broken shovel. I know he hides around
the
> > > corner and waits for me to finish shoveling and then he comes down the
> > > street
> > > at 100 miles an hour and throws snow all over where I've just been!
> > > Tonight the wife wanted me to sing Christmas carols with her and open
> our
> > > presents, but I was too busy watching for the damn snowplow.
> > >
> > > December 25 - Merry f---ing Christmas! 20 more inches of the damn slop
> > > tonight. Snowed in. The idea of shoveling makes my blood boil. God
> > > I hate the snow! Then the snowplow driver came by asking for a
donation
> > > and I hit him over the head with my shovel. The wife says I have a bad
> > > attitude. I think she's a fricking idiot. If I have to watch "It's A
> > > Wonderful Life" one more time, I'm going to stuff her into the
> microwave.
> > >
> > > December 26 - Still snowed in. Why the hell did I ever move here? It
was
> > > all HER idea. She's really getting on my nerves.
> > >
> > > December 27 - Temperature dropped to -30 and the pipes froze, plumber
> came
> > > after 14 hours of waiting for him, he only charged me $1,400 to
replace
> > > all my pipes.
> > >
> > > December 28 - Warmed up to above -20. Still snowed in. THE ***** is
> > driving
> > >
> > > me crazy!!!
> > >
> > > December 29 - 10 more inches. Bob says I have to shovel the roof or it
> > > could
> > > cave in. That's the silliest thing I ever heard. How dumb does he
think
> I
> > > am?
> > >
> > > December 30 - Roof caved in. I beat up the snow plow driver, he is now
> > > suing me for a million dollars not only the beating I gave him but
also
> > for
> > > trying to shove the broken snow shovel up his ***. The wife went home
to
> > > her mother. 9" predicted.
> > >
> > > December 31 - I set fire to what's left of the house. No more
shoveling.
> > >
> > > January 8 - Feel so good. I just love those little white pills they
keep
> > > giving me. Why am I tied to the bed?
> > >
> > >
> > >
> > >
> > >
> > >
> >
>
>
>