What does your Spouse or Significant other really think about your Discus Hobby?

[brewmaster15]

Hi all,

Just Curious...What does your Spouse or Significant other really think about your Discus Hobby?

My wife Carrie is very supportive, for that I am blessed...but I do believe at times she wishes that I maybe wasn't half as obsessed with this Hobby, Discus and the Forum... Call it a gut feeling.... either that or freudian slips on her part!:)

Most of the time, I think she really enjoys these fish...maybe not so when the electric Bill comes or I order a whole mess of food. I know its a "mostly likes ' thing because she was the one that asked me to re-stock the 125 gal in the living room with discus (it had been empty because of home renovations)..

So what is everyones situation?

-al

[Moon]

My wife absolutely could not care less about my fish. At least I thought so untill recently, she took a couple of days off work. When I got home one of those evenings she told me that she liked my discus. She had actually gone down to the fish room and checked out my fish. This was a big surprise.
She does occationally complain about the excess humidity in the basement and water spills.
Joe

[April]

well..we have a few wife and hubby couples on the forum..that i know..is that a great thing..or does it make the hobby even more obsessed?
my "significant other" informed me that he doesnt have much interest in fish..but he thinks mine are cool..but thats just fine..cause its my hobby. he has his art.i used to think..itd be cool to have a fish person..for a significant other..then i thought..well..maybe itd be too much fish and what happens if he wanted OTHER kinds of fish..then what? a shopping mall size fishroom? most likely we'd go belly up on fish..

[BobB]

My wife loves the discus, she thinks they are the best fish I have ever had!

[Jarrod]

I am one of the fortunate ones I'd say... my spousal type unit not only accepts my passion for my fish but also pitches in and helps me with my water changes and setting up equip when I need the help. She never complains really about what I spend on fish or fish food or anything like that at all, except when our funds get low lol...hey I've been known to blow the budget as it were now and then.:D LOL yesterday I was in the process of setting up the new fluval 404 and working on my other fluval 203 filters..while messing with the hoses on the 203 she got underneath my tank stand and was kneeling there while I was fighting the 203 to get it primed...lol and I let one end of the exhaust hose tip a bit ACCIDENTALLY and YES it was an accident! Well when this happend and spilled water on her back not once but TWICE. She asked me why didn't you take up stamp collecting!? ROFLMAO
But we got both filters up and running so all in all how could I ever gripe about her? Oh and April I think it was you that said your hubby was an artist am I correct? The reason I ask is because my wife in an artist as well she has been doing it professionaly since we've been together. She has her own website up with some of her artwork and such as well. We've been together now for 31 yrs the 27th of this month.
George

[brewmaster15]

31years! Congratulations to both You and your "spousal type unit ":) :) :)

..I dare you to get her flowers and address it ... to my beloved spousal type unit!!! LOL

-al

[Tony_S]

What does your Spouse or Significant other really think about your Discus Hobby?

LMAO!!:D

We can't drive by an LFS without having to 'have a look'....
Most of the LFS in the area know her on a first name basis....
I have to hide her wallet if we go into an LFS....
I have to drag her kicking and screaming OUT of the LFS when it's time to leave....

What does she think???.....LMAO AGAIN!!:D

Tony

[brewmaster15]

Sorry Tony,
In this thread..you are the significant other...and Beth is the Hobbyist!!!;) :D :D :D

-al

[Timbo]

i had to lie constantly when i had the reef. everything was 1/2 what i paid :) (she got matching funds)

[Beth]

We can't drive by an LFS without having to 'have a look'....

........ well......... errrr....ummmmmm........ fine, I guess I can't argue that one :p


Most of the LFS in the area know her on a first name basis....

Only because........ I'm from the South and ..... I'm overly friendly :D


I have to hide her wallet if we go into an LFS....

I swear..... I try....... I do.... I try really hard to control those urges :rolleyes:


I have to drag her kicking and screaming OUT of the LFS when it's time to leave....
It's not quite that dramatic ;)


What does she think???.....LMAO AGAIN!!:D

Wanna know what I really think about my significant other :confused: All I can say about that is........ "HE NEEDS TO LEARN HOW TO CHANGE WATER MY WAY" :D


Sorry Tony,
In this thread..you are the significant other...and Beth is the Hobbyist!!!

Al........ I'm just a "HARDCORE HOBBYIST" is all. It's a good thing he has more control with his "hobby habit"

[AmberC]

Probably the same thing I think about his car hobby....

[kjmillerfw]

The word censor won't let me say what my husband says about my fish. Especially when the electric bill comes rolling in and I have to remind him that it's still cheaper than a divorce.

He has at least gotten better about helping me clean up water spills and (even though he wasn't real excited about it) he did build me a stand recently...I think he's coming around. :D

We(slash)He has a pond in the backyard where I threw some small fry culls early in the summer. I assumed that they would be a part of that whole "circle of life" thing (Koi food). He came in all excited the other day telling me that there are three alive that he knows of and they look pretty good considering. (Beth, I thought of you and your outdoor discus pool!) I've only seen slight glimpses of them but I'd like to catch one long enough to compare the growth to the sibling fry that I've been feeding and pampering since then.

This might work out good for both of us because now he feels the need to nurture them...hehe. I wouldn't be surprised if he doesn't fish them out when the water temp drops and put them in an indoor tank for the winter...then return them to the pond in the late spring.

Kathy

[lhforbes12]

Hi all,

Just Curious...What does your Spouse or Significant other really think about your Discus Hobby?

My wife Carrie is very supportive, for that I am blessed...but I do believe at times she wishes that I maybe wasn't half as obsessed with this Hobby, Discus and the Forum... Call it a gut feeling.... either that or freudian slips on her part!:)

Most of the time, I think she really enjoys these fish...maybe not so when the electric Bill comes or I order a whole mess of food. I know its a "mostly likes ' thing because she was the one that asked me to re-stock the 125 gal in the living room with discus (it had been empty because of home renovations)..

So what is everyones situation?

-al

Pretty much a mirror of my situation.

[marilyn1998]

I suppose my husband is pretty supportive for the most part. He will drive me to new LFS and then wait in the car while I browse/buy. He is allergic and suffers alot from the type of stores that are small and carry reptiles, birds, etc.
He still wont drop a pellet in the water if I ask him, but he has setup alot of the equipment for me. When I Spend too much money, he gets quiet and says "I am not pleased" but then doesnt mention it again.
I know he loves my tank because he goes to great lengths to talk about everything "new" in it and to show all the little ones of the family and neighbors all about the fish.

THe thing that still echos in my mind is, "Spill ANY water and you are sleeping in that tank with the fishies!" LMAO

He is cool, I let him golf as much as he wants and dont say a thing. HE goes at least once a week and on weeks he has off he goes daily. Gives me time to rescape, buy fish and set up new equiment as well as do major water changes!!

[andy123]

when I met my wife at the time I had 22 fish (close to 1000 gallons) in my fully fuctional kitchen.The one bedroom apartment I lived in was so hot that you would just start to sweat from the heat and humidity.. then we moved into together and i sold everything off, big mistake on my part I'm still pulling teeth trying even to by food. basically if you have a girlfriend who doesn't like your hobby, drop her to the curb right away, and find a fish lover, you'll be better off..
andy

[Jarrod]

ROFLMAO Al!!...she already knows I call her that...lol.. and other things that I hestitate to share here not dirty or obscene or anything...but to most they would say how can you get away with saying something like that LOL. You can bet she reciprocates in calling me stuff too. But I guess after 31 yrs you could call us soulmates eh?
George

[April]

yes jarrod my "buddy is an artist. we dont live togeather..we just visit every evening..then home to our own places..if he had his way..hed have his house set up as an art studio..with a tv and a kitchen..and lots of work tables..and id have mine set up with fish. did you ever realize..fish and art dont go togeather? the humidity can destroy art....better go buy yourself a humidifier...jarrod....
oh..and he thinks the bubbling sound doesnt go with sleeping...i have to try quieten them down. (eye rollin emoticon)

[Tad]

Guess Im lucky....I havent done a WC in months...retirement is bliss :D


Tad

[Dave_Discus]

She is supportive in my every endeavor. :angel:

She and Jack picked out my fish while I gazed in wonder. :p

[Graham]

She has no problem supporting my habit...Vic likes to travel around the States to shows and she spends dollar for dollar what I do :p ;) we have really nice furniture, etc :)

[oodi]

Guess Im lucky....I havent done a WC in months...retirement is bliss :D


Tad


And water changes are so much more enjoyable now!!! A lot less mess, too!!! :D :D

Judi
:)

[Jarrod]

yes jarrod my "buddy is an artist. we dont live togeather..we just visit every evening..then home to our own places..if he had his way..hed have his house set up as an art studio..with a tv and a kitchen..and lots of work tables..and id have mine set up with fish. did you ever realize..fish and art dont go togeather? the humidity can destroy art....better go buy yourself a humidifier...jarrod....
oh..and he thinks the bubbling sound doesnt go with sleeping...i have to try quieten them down. (eye rollin emoticon)


April...all my tanks are in my room and her artwork is throughout the rest of the house...lol...we don't really have a bad humidity problem.... I keep a couple of windows craked open year round and my door closed 99% of the time. In the winter months I heat our house with wood and the wood stove is in the front room and our house is very small.
George

[White Worm]

As long as i buy the pretty colored ones that she likes, she is ok with it. Her real interest is finally having some fry. I'm working on it......

[Marinemom]

I have to say that for the most part my husband does not care about my hobby with fishkeeping. He will help me set up some of the equipment if I need his help though. I think he tries to show interest and I think he would be lost if I took down my tanks because we have had them for so long. He wouldn't know what to look at.

Diane

[LizStreithorst]

When my sweetie and I got together I already had Discus. When I moved from Southeast MS. to lower Alabama to live with him he helped me move my 22 tanks and bag and transport the fish. He built me a wonderful fish room. He wanted me to be happy and understood that where Liz goes, the Discus go.

We are now partners in fish. I do my best to make the fish pay for themselves. But when they can't we split the expences. We were doing OK until just recently when we built the new room to house the breeders. We had to pay for materiels and equipment but it will pay off...

John is into Angels. We have some Koi growouts from Angels Plus as well as adult kick-buttocks (trying to get around the profanity filter) Blacks, Goldens and Pearlscales from Cary.

I have to say that John and I have a good fish relationship

[poconogal]

My husband is very supportive of my habit, oops, hobby, and he'll help me out when I need it. He likes to look at them some, but he's not really a fish person. He does think I am obsessed, though.

[cobaltblue]

My wife Kerry loves to look at my fish. When i get home from work i can tell she has fed them, even though i tell her not too. She will say " well, they were all staring at me so i felt bad and fed them". She wont ever admit to liking them much though, as she does think i spend way too much money on my hobby. ( i did go way too hardcore the first year, spending over 5000$ on tanks and fish). She rides the emotional rollercoaster with me of having fry , watching them develop, only to watch them all die one by one. I have not been able to get her to do a wc yet though.....

[mench]

Himmmmm,does my bride support my fish hobby??? Well we have been married for 35 yrs( 5 of them happy,and not all together)
Naw I am kidding of course...I have been in and out of fish all of our time together and she just goes with the flow,just like with all my other hobbies..collecting Jordan stuff,single sidband cb raidos,and our other big hobbie...old cars
Thankfully,at least she is thankfull that I am done with the Jordan and radio stuff..and now can focus on fish and cars.
She does like both hobbies,she has a car of her own and she does like to sit in the fish room and watch the fish and she will feed them if I am out of town...no water changes yet,and she still does't clean "her" car...but I would not change things ,she and I get along together just great,though sometimes she wishes we had less costly hobbies..
Thats it...
Oh.and for Andy 123's set up..well I have been to his apartment and it was wall to wall tanks,good thing he was in a basement apt.LOL

Mench

[RandalB]

That I'm nuts but I could be out drinking or corousing so she puts up with it...


RandalB

[swinters66]

Well my husband was actually into fish years before I was. I was into reptiles at the time. I still am...but I am down to 2 snakes...not 7. A lot easier to manage.

When I told him I wanted to try discus, he was supportive. It took me almost 3 years to pay off some debts and things but now that I have them...he likes that I have my own tank to take care of. Frankly I was tired of buying oscars and other large aggressive cichlids...only to have them get killed by other fish. Why was I spending money when the fish would get killed in a month??

He does think I am a little anal with the care of my discus though. He doesn't get all the WC's, the way I clean out the filters, making sure I have everything right...checking the water parameters and temps. He thinks I am going a little overboard. But, all the research I have done...the reading, you guys...I know I am doing what I am supposed to with these fish...so he leaves me to it.

So, while he likes the aggressive fish...I like the more serene, calm fish. I do find him in here looking at my tank...and commenting on how nice and clear the water is, he reeeaally likes my red turq....and he's proud of me that I managed to get all this done pretty much by myself. He did hook up the eheim for me though.

[1977]

My wife is supportive for the most part but but I don't think I could ever get her to do a wc! She'll feed them if I ask.

[Discus_KC]

Do I say what I think she believes or my take on what she tolerates ?????

Either way I'm toast !!!!

There was a time when I just had a few tanks. It was a very short period if you know me at all. The hobby didn't take much effort on my part so she really never cared.

Then came the move to the new house. I had 2 requests of the house. I wanted a unfinished basement and 3 car garage. She should have known that was a fishroom request !!!!

We hit 20 years in May so I think I know her well. She used to say the same thing until we played the board game scrupels. She realized she didn't know me !!!:D :D :D :D

So we go from small hobbyist to discus wacko !! 150 tanks in the basement and 200 empty tanks in the yard. She hated the tanks in the yard and tolerated the ones in the basement.

I know for a fact I have taken her for granted at times. I expected her to get excited when I do. Not gonna happen !! She does like when fish spawn but likes to see progress of some of them leaving. I hear many times "Can you do it with less tanks??? She doesn't ask that one anymore since she knows the answer.

I couldn't ask for more of a helper than she has been. She feeds, does WC's when I'm gone, answers phone calls (she doesn't like the ones at midnight though) and makes up shipping bags. She is a great help !!!!!!

All she wants from me is ....... The hobby to pay for itself and continue to maintain good quality family time.

If I do both........life is good !!!!!! :D :D :D :D

[Jarrod]

My husband is very supportive of my habit, oops, hobby, and he'll help me out when I need it. He likes to look at them some, but he's not really a fish person. He does think I am obsessed, though.

Connie...does he think you are obsessed or possesed when in comes to fish? LMAO joking:laugh: :laugh:
George

[AADiscus]

It is a blast to share the same hobby as my husband. I don't see how some do it all by themselves. We enjoy spending time together doing wc's, moving fish, etc. We both do things a little different like when doing wc's. I'm a clean freak and it drives me crazy if I can't pick up the smallest of item on the bottom of the tank. (I'm talking like a dot) I like it spotless. Andrew will say, you have that tank clean, they are just going to poop when you start filling the tank up. Of course, they let everything go when you start filling. lol

[Twize]

My wife has been very supportive of my aquarist hobby.... up until I asked her to help me drag a 80lb piece of driftwood back to the truck over rough terrain. lol!

[Lisachromis]

Well... My hobby must have been something good, as it led to me meeting my husband because of it. We actually met online on a fish chat. I only have a few more tanks than when he first met me. I already had the fishroom, so there was no argument about that. LOL He's also into birds, so now it's a fish/birdroom. Discus are not in the majority of my tanks, but I really enjoy them and I think my husband does too. He's more into rainbowfish and native Australian fishes. I'm into anything fishy (except the ones that remind me of snakes):noway:

[Jarrod]

It is a blast to share the same hobby as my husband. I don't see how some do it all by themselves. We enjoy spending time together doing wc's, moving fish, etc. We both do things a little different like when doing wc's. I'm a clean freak and it drives me crazy if I can't pick up the smallest of item on the bottom of the tank. (I'm talking like a dot) I like it spotless. Andrew will say, you have that tank clean, they are just going to poop when you start filling the tank up. Of course, they let everything go when you start filling. lol
LOL Angela and here I thought it was just mine that pulled that stunt!....you keep your hand and part of your arm in the tanks trying to get every little thing like you said and INVARIABLY when you get it looking nice and clean and start to refill they gotta do the poop thing. And by this time you're already doing another tank it just never fails to happen that way...lol.
George

[Harriett]

I get not only great interest and support and w/c help when I go out of town, my partner recently suggested it was time to just start a 'monthly fish budget' so we could plan ahead for what I'l need (want). I made every attempt to act normal in the moment, but walked out of the room thinking this was way too good to be true....Lucky lucky lucky.
Harriett

[mmorris]

Hey Harriett, did he say what the monthly fish budget would be? I hope you haven't subsequently found out that this is his way of saying 'you've got to cut back!' I'm single, so my fish budget is essentially 'everything left over.' Course when you are single, there isn't much left over!:D Martha

[Harriett]

It wasn't really cut back, it was 'let's get real and figure it in to the hard wiring!' We are negotiating numbers.....heh heh heh...so nice to have concensus on the importance of the hobby in my life...we basically do what we can to keep each other in our 'happy place' as $ permits anyhow--A little easier since all our kids are grown and out of the house--several are actually solvent on their own! But just hearing those words was like suddenly a little choir of angels was singing in my head. It was right out of a sit-com. I loved it.
Harriett

[Darren's Discus]

My other half does'nt mind my hobbie,sometimes she thinks i spend way to muchtime with them and says if i swim around in a tank will you look at me like that ?Although recently she asked if we could set up a marine tank and she would look after it.so i couldn't say no it's good if she has any interest in fish even if there not discus.
cheers

[t_j]

It is a blast to share the same hobby as my husband. I don't see how some do it all by themselves. We enjoy spending time together doing wc's, moving fish, etc. We both do things a little different like when doing wc's. I'm a clean freak and it drives me crazy if I can't pick up the smallest of item on the bottom of the tank. (I'm talking like a dot) I like it spotless. Andrew will say, you have that tank clean, they are just going to poop when you start filling the tank up. Of course, they let everything go when you start filling. lol


Same thing here every thing with us is 50/50 (most of the time) we both love having discus. We always talk about what we are going to do before we do it when it comes to the discus right down to picking them out before buying(most of the time we pick the same fish so thats no problem) or how much food to buy for them. We do bunt heads though because he wants to do what he wants and I want to do what I want, but we usually come to an agrement. It is really nice to share what you love with the one you love:D I don't think I could have it any other way.:o

[bnii]

this is the significant other:
i really enjoy the fish. at one point when i moved in he said he was going to get rid of them and i aked him not to. i love watching them. they all have little personnalities. our corys think they are fish. they are all little spazzes.
we had led lights so it look so cool at night. we just relax and watch them all beg for food (cause if you ask them we starve them) they have all made friends outside their spieces. one of our discus tags along behind the corys to eat what they kick up. my nephews betta we are watching has become the lazest thing ever! he lays in the plants all day till feeding time. out cat fish is taking after him. out discus and angels are buddies too.
mostly why i like the fish is because they are something we all (two of us and 3 kids) can do and enjoy together. the kids love to feed them and we all get a kick out of watching them grow.
ts-bnii's girlfriend

[Jessie555]

The first one didn't like them at all, so I dumped that one, the new one loves it, we are in it together now :heart1: :love:

"Jessie"

[pcsb23]

Rather than guess I thouht I'd ask her....

The response "Well I don't really know, suppose it keeps you out of mischief...." mmmm little does she know;)

[Giniel]

When I first started in discus, my husband said he did NOT want to live in a fish store...a few tanks would be fine..

Well, 6 years later and we have 13 tanks in the house and it sounds like a fish store..He puts up with it. Actually helps out as far as building tanks , help running equipment,connecting pumps etc. He won't do a water change for fear of hurting them more than helping them.LOL

But let one get sick or act wierd and I get a call at work about it.LOL
He even went out and bought me another tank the other day because it was cheap ..I think it is a 40 gallon ,it is not as tall as the others I have but it 3 foot long and 18" wide.
So I guess you could say he is involved even though he doesn't want to be.LOLHe even likes to help pick out the kinds of fish I buy.

Debbie

[poconogal]

When I first started in discus, my husband said he did NOT want to live in a fish store...a few tanks would be fine..

Well, 6 years later and we have 13 tanks in the house and it sounds like a fish store..He puts up with it. Actually helps out as far as building tanks , help running equipment,connecting pumps etc. He won't do a water change for fear of hurting them more than helping them.LOL

But let one get sick or act wierd and I get a call at work about it.LOL
He even went out and bought me another tank the other day because it was cheap ..I think it is a 40 gallon ,it is not as tall as the others I have but it 3 foot long and 18" wide.
So I guess you could say he is involved even though he doesn't want to be.LOLHe even likes to help pick out the kinds of fish I buy.

Debbie
Debbie, sounds like your hubby is a closet fish geek! :D

Connie

[poconogal]

Connie...does he think you are obsessed or possesed when in comes to fish? LMAO joking:laugh: :laugh:
George

Probably both, George ;)

Connie

[Cosmo]

My wife at first was totally against my keeping fish. When we got engaged and moved into a condo, she actually made me give away my fish and equipment :angry: She relented about 9 months later and bought me a 90 gal setup for Christmas :angel: Now she thinks I'm a little nuts, especially about the way I always talk to them :o but she loves looking at the fish and is happy that it makes me happy :) Got me an :angel: the second time around I did :D

Jim

[bullheimer]

my wife loves them. goes with me when we buy some. helps pick them out. crys when they die. :angel: doesnt help clean the tank tho, come to think of it, doesnt feed them either:angry: well, she does help do a wc once in a while

[brewmaster15]

my wife loves them. goes with me when we buy some. helps pick them out. crys when they die. :angel: doesnt help clean the tank tho, come to think of it, doesnt feed them either:angry: well, she does help do a wc once in a while
Sounds like she has the better end of the arrangement.

My wife loves them... to the point that she wanted a tank of them...I thought that was great...Until I inherited cleaning it!!:( :)

-al

[Discus_KC]

Now she thinks I'm a little nuts

Jim

How long did that take her ?? We could have helped !!

[Discus_KC]

...Until I inherited cleaning it!!:( :)

-al


Come on Al....she inherited 85,000,000 phone calls.

Sounds fair to me !!!

Jack

[chris allsop]

my missus doesnt mind as such, she has adoptend a few in some of my tanks and calls them hers, but she never feeds them or helps with water changes!!

she hates them taking my money and time up!!
and we havnt even moved in together yet, i said when we do i want a down stairs room to comvert into a fish house or im not buying the house!!

Will see how things work out but she has the biggest collection of handbags and shoes that ive ever seen!!!

[brewmaster15]

Come on Al....she inherited 85,000,000 phone calls.

Sounds fair to me !!!

Jack ROTFLMAO!!!! yes I guess you are right.. I better go out and buy her a big 350 gal tank to make up for that!:D :D :D
-al

[Cosmo]

How long did that take her ?? We could have helped !!

Jack... didn't take her long :p Thinking that's why she bought me the first tank so quickly.... keep me quiet :o You have helped bud... feel free to help more at any time too :D

[wolvy]

Moved her out and moving the tanks back in afyer 9 years can hardly wait.Would never give up something i enjoy for someone again because i missed and i wasn't really true to me!!!!!

[greyhoundfan]

can't say exactly. my thread would be censored.

[t_j]

Moved her out and moving the tanks back in afyer 9 years can hardly wait.Would never give up something i enjoy for someone again because i missed and i wasn't really true to me!!!!!


I wouldn't be able to give up something I love doing for some one else. You have to love me for every thing I am including my fish thats the way I look at that and thank god I don't have that problem we both fell in love with discus and the hobby.

[Discusfishies]

My partner and I seperated not long after I started this hobby. Suppose that sums it up;)