Feeling like giving up?

[FLGirl1977]

Does anyone ever feel so frustrated that they feel like giving up this hobby? I feel like no matter how much knowledge you have than your average person who goes out and buys a fish tank and throws anything they can find in your average store, I still feel under-qualified to have discus.

Just when you think you've learned something, only to find out you're completely inadequate for the job.

Sorry, it's just days like this that make me feel like giving up this hobby that I love so much.

Please tell me there are others out there that feel this way, and what did you do to overcome it? :(

[Triadtropz]

hang in there!...just ignore the hobby for a few days,..it will still be there then.

[Kindredspirit]

,
Please tell me there are others out there that feel this way, and what did you do to overcome it? :(

Renee ~ I am sorry you feel this way! I am not sure what your issues are but if you can just relax. Breathe.

Go BB and do wc every day ~ every day ~ and if you started with good stock, you will prevail. It really is that simple.

Hang in there!:)

[Roxanne]

Hi Renee, I felt like that for the first time today when I found spiro in poopy...just another thing making it hard to just enjoy the fish...but the thought of giving them away is painful, so I know I will perservere ....

It does feel a little overwhelming, after all, we buy a pretty fish THEN discover they are not a goldfish as far as care goes....I think alot of us are surprised by what is involved so don't feel bad. You've always got your mates here on Simply to support and help get you through;)

I read a lovely Waterlife reference to the discus...it said..they are "regarded as one of the most beautiful freshwater species"...I think that's wrong, cos they ARE the most beautiful freshwater species in my book..

Rox

[William Palumbo]

That's normal to feel like that at times. I have felt that way many times over the span of my Discus keeping years. Sick fish...jumpy fish...can all make you burned out. I got a bad streak going now that makes me want to not even go into the fishroom. Tanks of jumpy fish...and pairs that no matter what just keep eating the free swimmers. Being between jobs, I could use little extra $$$ from the fry to help pay for their keep...but that's not going to happen. With the good comes the bad, and you just have to go thru it, because there are more good times than bad in the end. At least we all have this site for support and motivation. It does help me a lot...when I realize that I am not the only one out there...Bill

[brewmaster15]

Does anyone ever feel so frustrated that they feel like giving up this hobby? I feel like no matter how much knowledge you have than your average person who goes out and buys a fish tank and throws anything they can find in your average store, I still feel under-qualified to have discus.

Just when you think you've learned something, only to find out you're completely inadequate for the job.

Sorry, it's just days like this that make me feel like giving up this hobby that I love so much.

Please tell me there are others out there that feel this way, and what did you do to overcome it? :( Feel that way myself alot of the times....:)

Best way to overcome it is get back to the basics... Just enjoy what you have and set little goals for yourself.. Discus is a learning Curve...even the most experienced hobbyists are on that curve somewhere....Been on it years...and really don't see an end in sight...which is good...I'd have to give this up otherwise as it'd be no challenge.:)

Don't worry...be happy...:angel:

-al

[dpt8]

Renee, Please tell us what is upsetting you.. I too feel that way, even after keeping discus for so long. I have one tank of discus that still fustrates me so much !!!! Plus once in a while one of my fish does not look like I think it should. I feel like I don't know very much even after all my experiences plus coaching from my mentor. Hang in there. Do a water change when you feel like you are not doing enough.. Feed smaller portions of food more often. Share with the people here on Simply if you have no one to exchange ideas with outside of this forum. Maybe you could buddy up with a more experienced person here on this forum.

Some things people should be aware of is to quaranteen new fish, buy all your discus at once and have enough sponges to hold bacteria for the large water changes. Also, must have a well cycled tank before you put the discus in there.

[acroken]

There has been a few times over the years that for one reason or another I stopped keeping discus. It was those times that i realized how much I truly enjoy and missed keeping discus. I went through a period of disease back in the late 80's (before computers and internet) when i felt completely lost.Everyday things will get easier as your experience increases. It is so nice to have a website like Simply to learn from others. There are so many great people on this site, i feel privileged to have this site at my access. Hang in there and try to keep it as simple as possible. I was reading your post from yesterday where you where having problems with your new RO unit and the addition of minerals, I have an extra TDS meter(brand new) i will send you n/c if you promise to stay in the hobby.

Kenny

[GrillMaster]

I for one can tell ya a few stories that would make anyone throw their hands up in the air and wanna give up!! ;) :D

I have learned alot from my mistakes and know that if I ever threw in the towel because of the mistakes I made I would miss it! So I will prolly keep on makin mistakes. Eventually I'll get it right...Maybe...:)

[FLGirl1977]

It's water chemistry.... period. We just started up our new RO unit and the addition of minerals is confusing me. I need to invest in a better water testing kit sometime soon.

My fish are all fine now (or at least seem to be), the BD's dorsal and anal fins aren't clamped as much in fact, seems to be acting better all around. I added the Ken's RO minerals to the water this morning, but the pH is still really low, not sure if that's what seems to be making them a little more skiddish.

Water has gotten me before... and lost a nice tank of malawi haps, but I was just a beginner and didn't really know nearly as much as I do now. But our water just flat out scares me and even when we first started the RO unit up, was worried it wouldn't get rid of what-ever killed my fish long ago. I tested it for NO2, NO3, Kh, GH, NO, and Chlorine. Everything was fine, but I lost an apistogramma this morning. Not sure if it was even water related, but frustrating none-the-less.

I have all of the enthusiasm and dedication for my water changes, but just don't have all of the knowledge just yet. I guess I still feel a little bummed too about my beautiful PB that I lost a few months back and have no idea what got to her....

I guess I like to learn from my mistakes and it frustrates me when I lose a fish and don't know what caused it, so I can't learn from it and that was why I was so worried about my BD....

Kenny, I will take you up on that offer.... ;)

[TankWatcher]

Well, you can see your not alone in your feelings. I feel like that a bit at the moment. Since a little before Christmas when I started treating for hex (sucessfully thankfully) it seems like there has been more work than enjoyment in the hobby. I have the recovered hex tank still in QT mode, 2 other tanks of new & newish fish being treated for gill flukes & another QT with new juvi. Looking after all the QT tanks, which takes more work & increases the worry aspect of the hobby, is draining me. BUT, it will pass. The QT's will sort themselves out & the heavier work load will pass.

Is there something going on that we can all help you with?

[brewmaster15]

Renee,
Fish die...sometimes that happens with out explanation...and it doesn't necessarily mean it was anything you did, didn't do or could have done to prevent it.... Too often times I see people on the forum sweat the small stuff, one little thing goes wrong and they question their own experience level... don't fall into that trap.

Learn as much as you can about areas that confuse you, ask as many questions as you can...but most of all...enjoy the hobby....its supposed to be enjoyable...not depressing.:)

hth,
al

[aquadiva]

I too went through a period where I had to treat the whole tank, change water twice every day, keep the temp at 92 for a total of two weeks and I said to my husband, it better not be this difficult ALL of the time or I don't know that I'll want to keep Discus. Afterall, the point is to enjoy keeping fish! I am happy to say that I did not lose one fish and they are all thriving now! I also actually enjoy doing water changes so that works out well. Sometimes you just have to get through the rough period, learn from it and then you can really enjoy these amazing fish. Sometimes fish die and we never know why. I had a fish that truly looked like it was dying, floating around in circles, looked lifeless! I had the net out ready to take him out, then he swam again! It was then that I treated with clout, the big gun medication and it worked! I never knew what was wrong with the fish but he is doing fantastic now! He's actually one of the most beautiful fish in the tank.

My Discus are like pets to me and I would feel terrible at the thought of giving them up. Especially not knowing how they would be cared for. I get a ton of enjoyment out of them. They truly are the King of aquariums! I find it incredibly relaxing to watch them. But, when things go wrong it does get frustrating for sure. Just try to relax and realize that no matter how much time you put into fish keeping, you may suffer a loss now and then with fish and not know why. Keep the water clean, feed well, and enjoy them! That's the best you can do.

Hang in there. I cannot help you with the RO unit as I have never altered my well water for a fish tank. The more simple you keep it, the better or so I have found in my own experience with keeping fish. Obviously you are using it for a reason and I'm sure the more experienced people here can give you advice on that.

Anna

[FLGirl1977]

Thank you everyone so much for your replys. It has put things more into perspective for me. It's also comforting to know that there are people experiencing the same frustration and encouraging to see that they are still just as dedicated and sticking with this rewarding hobby.

Thanks again... :cool:

[Porkchop]

I feel the same way right now....I'm going through a lot with my fish and learning a lot of valuable lessons right now. I'm about to lose my second Discus in two days and I still haven't figure out what is going on. Due to a broken down vehicle, I've been unable to go get meds as well. At this point I feel like I'm stuck watching all my Discus die off one by one...

I was thinking about getting a second tank but if I can't keep the ones in this one alive, why bother?

Anthony

[MostlyDiscus]

Ive throw my hands up on many occasions. MANY. Dont give up though, it will work. Ed

[aquadiva]

I feel the same way right now....I'm going through a lot with my fish and learning a lot of valuable lessons right now. I'm about to lose my second Discus in two days and I still haven't figure out what is going on. Due to a broken down vehicle, I've been unable to go get meds as well. At this point I feel like I'm stuck watching all my Discus die off one by one...

I was thinking about getting a second tank but if I can't keep the ones in this one alive, why bother?

Anthony

Hey Anthony,
If you aren't sure what is wrong, maybe consider using Clout. It kills off most everything. You just have to be careful about proper dosage and change the water (after using carbon first so the clout doesn't go down your drain) after 24 hours of treatment. I'm not saying it is the "cure" for all, but it worked great on a Discus I thought I was losing and didn't know what was wrong with him. How big is your tank? I could mail you enough for a single dose which is all you should need. That is all that I used. I don't know if it would get to you on time. Let me know, I'd be happy to do it. That said, of course you have to first rule out water quality issues in case that should be the problem. I assume you've already done that though. Maybe share the symptoms your fish are showing so someone here might offer different advice? I don't want to misguide you in which medication might be best for your fish as I am no expert. I can only go by my own experience and luckily, it worked! In any case, good luck and don't give up! These things happen and thank goodness we have this forum to help each other! Maybe someone closer to you has meds to share that would get to you sooner.

Anna

[Roxanne]

I don't think he can get to the meds Anna...is there a member in Illinois who can help porkchop??

[Discus-Hans]

Please guys, meds are not always the solution.

Think I told this a few times before, when I started out with Discus (OMG. 35 years ago) I killed more as you can ever dream of to have in all your tanks.

Everything was PERFECT with what I could find in the books, I knew more about meds as all the experts here together on the forum (+ one of my best friends was a vet with all equipment you need to find something)

This is back in Holland were you can use water straight from the tap, no chloor or what ever added to the water, still I had RO, anione/Catnione (sp? no time to look it up) you name it, I had it all......................including .......... only dead Discus.

I learned over time, the lesser crap the better, just the KISS way (Keep It Simple Stupid)

Now we keep between the 6 and 8,000 Discus, I only watch my Ph and my Discus, I get tap water in my storage tanks add Cloram-X and use it most of the time the same day on my tanks.

If we loose 5 Discus a week, it's a very bad week but it happens, sometimes you see it coming, some times totally not.

A lot depends of course on the stock of your Discus, how they are raised etc. it's not all in your hands,

Hans

[mikel]

Just use common sense and an open mind. Go easy on yourself...we are always learning. mike

[Porkchop]

Hey Anthony,
How big is your tank? I could mail you enough for a single dose which is all you should need. That is all that I used. I don't know if it would get to you on time. Let me know, I'd be happy to do it. That said, of course you have to first rule out water quality issues in case that should be the problem. I assume you've already done that though. Maybe share the symptoms your fish are showing so someone here might offer different advice?

My tank is a 55 gallon. The fish that died the other day didn't eat for about 3 days when all of the sudden it's belly was HUGE and it didn't make it through the night after treating the tank with Epsom salt. Now my BD who was my biggest eater out of the little guys all of the sudden stopped eating Thursday night (ate once yesterday BS) and has been hiding. He is now to the point where is he on his side and barely breathing. I have him in a bucket with Epsom salt right now but I doubt it's going to do anything. A few of my other Discus are starting to Darken and eat less and less...

The water quality should be far from the problem. My tank is getting 50 to 90% daily changes. Temp is at 92 degrees because 10 days ago I finised off a treatment of Metro. A Discus and Angel had white stringy poop and had stopped eating but have since turned completely around. I'd say the Discus that was sick is now doing the best. I'm supposed to do a second treatment of Metro starting tomorrow according to my original instructions.

I tried to make it short but not short any of the info...

Anthony

[Greg Richardson]

Renee. What is the reason behind using RO?
Is your regular water that bad?
What is your PH with no RO water?

[Tonyintx]

Sorry to hear Renee, All I can say that anybody hasn't is to back up Hans and use the K.I.S.S. method. In the beginning i used to read about adding this to the water or using that in the water or even adding black water extract and all that stuff, but in the end what works for me is plain tap water heated and add prime and let is sit over night. I only use my RO if I think my adults are trying to mate. hope this helps....:D

[White Worm]

It happens to everyone. I had this big beautiful Male who was part of a pair that was producing great batches of fry with his lady and then one day he was floating dead at the surface. Everything was fine and all the fish were fine. Dont know what happened but he was my favorite fish!!! :(

[Dutch dude]

Hi Renee,

I agrea what Hans wrote
I learned over time, the lesser crap the better, just the KISS way (Keep It Simple Stupid)


Often I read on forums that a lot of things can go wrong with meds, supplements and chemicals. I don't know the readings of your tapwater and that would definitely help on giving you a proper advice.

My tapwater does have the next readings: PH=8, GH=9, KH=4
I used RO water in the past and especially for the apisto's. I always made a mix of tapwater and RO water. The tapwater contains lots of minerals and basically I only reduced it by adding RO water. The mix I used was 1:3 = 1 RO water and 3 tapwater. This could be a base for you as well. You could start with 1 RO to 4 tapwater, do this for 2 to 4 weeks and check the readings of your tank water. If they are OK just use the 1:4 mix if it is to hard, add more RO water to 1:3. This way you can adjust the hardness of your tank water without adding expensive minerals. The mix of RO and tapwater is saver and cheaper as well. As for my RT Discus and my domesticated apisto's,.....I slowely reduced the RO water and they do great on my tapwater ;)

[Darrell Ward]

Don't feel bad. Stuff happens. I went for 4 years without any problems. I only lost 2 fish the entire time, and one of the 2 spooked and jumped out. In Dec. I got new fish in, everything was fine as usual, then one died. Now another one don't look good, not eating and breathing rapidly. I'm thinking flukes. Ordered some Prazi Pro, can't get stuff like that around here. Hopefuly it'll make it until Tues. when I get it. So you see, it happens to everyone, even me, "Mr. Lucky". :D

[rickztahone]

hang in there Renee, it does indeed happen to all of us. it is part of being a discus enthusiast. at one time or the other you will have to deal with some kind of problem. i hope you get it all sorted out and i'm sure members here can inform you best about that RO unit and the minerals you are having problems with. chin up

[Wahter]

It happens to just about everyone one time or many times!

I hate it when something happens and it could have been easily avoided! A few years back, I lost three zebra pl*cos (L46) when I did a water change, I still don't know why that happened, but since then, I age my water and my remaining zebras are fine. Some people around here think I'm being 'too careful', but it works for me!

You just have to view the troubles and lows as learning points that build up experience.


Walter

[TankWatcher]

I lost an apistogramma this morning. Not sure if it was even water related, but frustrating none-the-less.Apistos are my 2nd fav fish (Discus are 1st naturally). I find apistos are a darn side harder to keep alive than any discus. They are just as prone to worms, but besides that, they can seem fine one day & then the next they aren't looking well & die & no-one else in the tank will even look remotely like there's a problem. They're a funny fish, these apistos. Lucky they're cute too, or I'd give up on them as well..

[Darren's Discus]

Renee,
like many others that have been in it for years,i have lost 100's of discus,most through my own stupiditty but we are dealing with living creatures and they do die,I have given up a few times over the years but now i'm at the point where if you dont get straight back up you will give up ! I have invested to much time and money to give up.The main thing with Discus is good clean stable water,all the time here we read people going what do i do with my water they use minerals ,ph upper ph downer,blah blah blah,If the fish even looks side ways "its oh my god my fish is sick' out comes the pharmacy of medicines without knowing what is really wrong. Discus are hardy fish that will live in a wide water range,what they dont like is sudden change.Keep your water clean stable and free from pollutants,i do not test my water at all,my fish test it everyday for me by swimming around happily as long as their happy i'm happy,always remember the "kiss" principle keep it simple stupid and you will be fine.We all have these days the most important thing is enjoy your hobby.:)


cheers

[acroken]

Renee
Just keep up with the water changes. Clean water, steady temperature and stable ph is all that is needed. Glad to see things are going better. Are you using 100% r/o water? What is the ph out of the tap? Are you aging the water to allow the ph to stabilize after you add the minerals? Let me know where you want the TDS/temperature meter to ship to.
Water changes and no medication is the answer.

Kenny

[FLGirl1977]

The pH we use before it goes through the RO unit is an 8.0, after it comes out it's a straight 6.0. I do age the water in a large BRUTE plastic tub for at least 24 hours before a water change. We just started using Kens minerals yesterday, so I added it in the tub and waited about an hour before I did my water change...

Kenny, I sent you a PM....

[Patr1ck]

It's water chemistry.... period. We just started up our new RO unit and the addition of minerals is confusing me. I need to invest in a better water testing kit sometime soon.

My fish are all fine now (or at least seem to be), the BD's dorsal and anal fins aren't clamped as much in fact, seems to be acting better all around. I added the Ken's RO minerals to the water this morning, but the pH is still really low, not sure if that's what seems to be making them a little more skiddish.

Water has gotten me before... and lost a nice tank of malawi haps, but I was just a beginner and didn't really know nearly as much as I do now. But our water just flat out scares me and even when we first started the RO unit up, was worried it wouldn't get rid of what-ever killed my fish long ago. I tested it for NO2, NO3, Kh, GH, NO, and Chlorine. Everything was fine, but I lost an apistogramma this morning. Not sure if it was even water related, but frustrating none-the-less.

I have all of the enthusiasm and dedication for my water changes, but just don't have all of the knowledge just yet. I guess I still feel a little bummed too about my beautiful PB that I lost a few months back and have no idea what got to her....

I guess I like to learn from my mistakes and it frustrates me when I lose a fish and don't know what caused it, so I can't learn from it and that was why I was so worried about my BD....

Kenny, I will take you up on that offer.... ;)

Sorry about your frustrations. When I first started doing discus I had them in straight tap water. The water here is very hard and alkaline 16degrees gh 12 degrees kh and ph between 7.5 and 8.1. They were doing ok but not great. I decided to purchase a RO unit. I hooked it up and plumbed it to a storage barrel which has a heater to equalize temps during wc's. When I did my first 25% WC with the ro water, which was reconstituted with RO Right, they turned very dark, breathed heavily and hid, also they had lots of body slime. They looked horrible. I feel that I almost lost them. I dont know why it happened. I followed all the flushing procedures of the new ro filter. I guess a change in water parameters that was too drastic for them to handle. I talked with the lfs guy and he said to try additional wc's so I did and they recovered. I continued to use ro right and discus essential at the rated quantities for discus on the label for the last year. They looked good and ate like pigs but something just didnt seem right to me. Nobody ever paired off. I stopped using the ro right and the discus essential and started to use @27% tap mixed with the ro to reconstitute. My thinking was that the tap water's parameters/mineral content here are formed naturally rather than artifically like ro right, which I'll bet is mostly sodium and potassium anyway(the not so needed elements for discus) and therefore would offer different minerals all together for the discus and plants.. Anywho Ive been doing wc with the new tap/ro blend water and I changed the gravel from black to a light brown sand. I did both 3 weeks ago and so far, all the discus colors have brightened up(from the lighter substrate) except for my 2 turqs which have gone dark twice in the last 3 weeks...Yep! they paired off and spawned twice. No swimmers yet, the male isnt sure what he is supposed to do yet.:D:D:D
I wouldnt go back to ro right and discus essential because Im happy with the results Ive achieved with the tap water blend. Ive been frusturated for over a year trying to figure out why none of them would pair off. Had similiar feelings to what you are experiencing, but when I figure something out that works for me the feeling of acomplishment outweighs the frustration.
I see that you live in Florida, ever learned to surf? Discus keeping is similiar to learning to surf for me, because there are many walls that you hit along the way and you have to just keep hitting them until you eventually find yourself able to climb over them.
Keep at it you'll get it. Thank god for this website huh? Its helped me learn a TON.

hth,
P

[FLGirl1977]

Lol! That's a good analogy Pat... unfortunately we don't get many swells here with the 20 miles of continental shelf we have on our coast... we might have good swells today though with the incoming of this front! It's really windy outside and our high tomorrow is supposed to be a frigid 60 F! lol! ;) Of course, that's pretty low for us, and we might get a freeze warning in effect tonight and tomorrow...

Anyway, back to fish.... my guys seem to be MUCH better with adding the RO minerals... I think I found a cause of alarm though.

I have an outbreak of ICH! Just when you think you'll never have to deal with that again, that you've pretty much irradicated it, it's back. I've noticed one of my black neons covered in it. Poor guy, and I've noticed it a bit on my Discus fins as well. Funny, because I'm always looking at them... I can't even walk by the tank without stopping to observe them and make sure there isn't any abnormal behaviors... so I'm not sure how on earth I've overlooked this. Right now I'm using the Quick Cure (blue dyed stuff) and hoping that works. I guess you have to treat daily with it until it's gone.

They all seem to be doing much better since I've started treatment... But this experience has taught me quite a bit about keeping an eye on your pH...I never had to worry about it too much before, but now that I'm creating my own RO water it's more of a concern.

We're using the reclaimed water from outside for the RO unit which has a pH of 8, but if we were using the water from our tap it would be on the high side of 9!!!! Whoa! I almost fell over when I saw that... I'm not sure I feel safe using tap water mixed with our RO water... I used to age our tap water before and managed to kill off some nice africans that I used to have. :(

Thanks for the info IVO... :)

[henpecked]

Hey FL,
Don't give up.:( I was in ther same boat as you. I have only been in the hobby 3 years. I started with Angels, was impatient, and lost a good amount of fish including a full tank of beautiful Angels to a mystery ailment. I finally got the hang of it after a year.
I wanted discus, but I was scared of the upkeep and knowledge needed. I jumped into Discus about 6 months ago & here is what I have learned, hope it helps you:
*Buy quality stock from private breeders with similar water conditions as you.
*get enough filtration to cycle your tank completely 10x hour.(75g= 750GPG filtration,W/C 1X week, quality food, ask questions of experienced people-they all love to talk about it.
* discus are not as delicate as some think. I don't use RO water because I'm not breeding any yet.
* I have not lost one yet following these steps. :D Hang in, it's worth it!

[Don Trinko]

Having discus is like having a bunch of little kids. There always getting a runny nose or something. I would like to say that I never had a discus die on me and that was true the 1st 8 months. Then I bought more and for various reasons some died. some of the deaths were pridictable but some were a surprize.
We have all the standard meds for treating many diseases but I am convinced that discus die from other diseases that are unknown to me.
If you are raising 100's of discus you can send one to a lab and find out exactly what disease you are dealing with but most of us have only one or two fish sick so sacrificing one to a lab makes no sense so...... We guess and sometimes we guess wrong. Don T.

[FLGirl1977]

I really... really appreciate all of the replies here I've gotten. I feel so blessed to have such a great support network here to go to.

I've realized that giving up the hobby just isn't an option, as I would quickly come running back because I would miss it too much. :)

Thank you all.... very much. Thank you to those who have pm'd me too and helped me keep things in perspective. :thumbsup:

[TankWatcher]

Hmmm, I'm feeling a bit like that (giving up) right now. Glad you're feeling more positive now & I expect I will again soon.