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John_Nicholson
08-04-2011, 05:36 PM
A Good Husband

Jack wakes up with a huge hangover after attending his
company's party.

Jack is not normally a drinker, but the drinks didn't
taste like alcohol at all. He didn't even remember how he got home from
the party.

As bad as he was feeling, he wondered if he did
something wrong.
Jack had to force himself to open his eyes, and the
first thing he sees is a couple of aspirins next to a glass of water on
the side table. And, next to them, a single red rose! Jack sits up and
sees his clothing in front of him, all clean and pressed.

He looks around the room and sees that it is in perfect
order, spotlessly clean. So is the rest of the house.

He takes the aspirins, cringes when he sees a huge black
eye staring back at him in the bathroom mirror. Then he notices a note
hanging on the corner of the mirror written in red with little hearts on
it and a kiss mark from his wife in lipstick: 'Honey, breakfast is on
the stove, I left early to get groceries to make you your favorite
dinner tonight.
I love you, darling! Love, Jillian'

He stumbles to the kitchen and sure enough, there is hot
breakfast, steaming hot coffee and the morning
newspaper.

His 16 year old son is also at the table, eating. Jack
asks,
'Son, what happened last night?'

'Well, you came home after 3 A.M., drunk and out of your
mind you fell over the coffee table and broke it, and then you puked in
the hallway, and got that black eye when you ran into the door.'

Confused, he asked his son, 'So, why is everything in
such perfect order and so clean? I have a rose, and breakfast is on the
table waiting for me? '

His son replies, 'Oh THAT. Mom dragged you to the
bedroom, and when she tried to take your pants off, you screamed,



'Leave me alone biatch, I'm married!!'

Broken Coffee Table $239.99
Hot Breakfast $4.20
Two Aspirins $.38
Saying the right thing, at the right time: PRICELESS

mwdw
08-04-2011, 06:04 PM
amen!

YSS
08-04-2011, 06:08 PM
Love it!!!! I just read it aloud to my wife and we both cracked up. I hope I can be like Jack. He is my hero. Does he keep discus, too?

LizStreithorst
08-04-2011, 06:39 PM
I've seen it before somewhere. I loved it back then and I love it again now. That's the way it should be. Thanks for giving me a smile.

Darrell Ward
08-04-2011, 09:42 PM
Yeah, I've heard that somewhere too, but it's still "priceless".

terps
08-05-2011, 09:23 PM
That was funny. Here's one I recently heard...

A man is sitting at the bar having drinks with his wife and he says, “I love you.”

She asks, “Is that you or the beer talking?”


He replies, “It’s me….. talking to the beer.”

ramonfernandez
08-10-2011, 07:56 AM
A real good husband. :)

Moon
08-10-2011, 03:05 PM
Made me smile

korbi_doc
08-10-2011, 04:29 PM
Hey John!! that one is just too funny! does make one laugh!

Dottie

fattubwhale
08-10-2011, 04:54 PM
Good one! It's always nice to read something that puts a smile on your face and makes you chuckle :):D:D