"Bless me, Father, for I have sinned... it's been ... sh**... like 15 or 16 years since my last confession? I mean, sorry Padre, but I left the Catholic church in 2007 but last confession was, uhmmmm... "
"Shut Up, Elliot... I mean, child. Let's cut to the chase --- what the hell did you do this time?"
"Sh**, what haven't I done since last confession? But I don't regret much of that... and they're always funny stories... but I can't confess to my wife,... ... ... that I 'may or may not have' purchased 2 new discus that she doesn't notice because this time they are the same strain as the others and her level of attention-to-detail (visually) is as bad as Stevie Wonder's"
"Doesn't matter, Elliot,... you're a ding dong for this being the one petty thing compared to all of the crazy crap you always confess to her anyways -- plus she doesn't ever assist you with her dumb Amazon purchases that she puts on your Capital One travel card anyways."
"Good point, Father... never mind... I take my confession back. Tell the big guy I still love'm, just have my own opinion on the Vatican

<end of donut's corny story confessing he got 2 new RR's and wife hasn't noticed... knocking on wood... and I'll tell her eventually!... when she's drinking, happy, and acts like she's listening... a year from now>
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